Rebel // Captain America

23 - Need You Now

It's been weeks. 

Weeks since I lost Steve. Since I've lost a piece of me.

We tried to look for him, but we couldn't find him. We searched every Hydra base we've come across, finding nothing that ties Captain America to that spot. Nothing. 

Natasha's left on a solo mission to try to get intel on where they could have him, but so far she hasn't come up with anything. 

The atmosphere around the tower's been sad, at best. 

Fury's been keeping us updated on Steve, even though there isn't any. I'm sure he feels...something. If Fury can feel emotions, at all.

Tony's been trying to be sympathetic in his own way. He isn't cracking any jokes or anything about it, mainly trying not to bring Steve up around any of us. I can tell he's coping with it in his own way. 

Sam and Clint feel responsible for losing him. They think that since they were there with him, then it's their fault for not keeping a better eye on him and having his back. 

Bucky isn't the same. After all, it's his situation. Just it's Steve and not him. He's worried that they're going to make him into the next Winter Soldier. I hope that isn't the case, but we never truly know what Hydra has planned. After all, they're insane people. And with my ex being an agent, they're probably going to use Steve as a pawn against me. 

And I know, if they do something to him, I am going to murder every single Hydra scum there is. If there's one thing I do know right now, it's that I'll be painting the town red.

-

An entire month passes, hope beginning to drain from me. 

A storm was raging outside. I knew at the center was a grieving God of Thunder. 

Thor had just come back that day, wanting to do his checkup of the town. First he was happy to meet me, then he grieved for me. He didn't know what happened to Steve, but he knew that something wasn't good. 

From what the others told me, Thor and Steve were like brothers. Close when Thor was around, whenever that was. 

Clearly, Thor was taking it hard. He had promptly left for the roof, building a giant thunderstorm that was now hovering over New York City. 

I stood at my window, watching the thunder streak across the sky as the tears streaked across my face.

I need Steve here. 

-

Time ticks slowly, weeks turning into months. 

The guys are beginning to lose hope for Steve. There hasn't been sightings of Steve. Nothing at all. We haven't found anything that ties him to anywhere.

I want to keep hope, but with what we have, even I'm losing it. Bucky's been clinging to me more and more. I think it's because I remind him of Steve. Clint's gone again, I think the guilt's finally broke him. Sam's been pushing through, but him, like Bucky, has been clinging to me. 

It makes me feel a little better with them around, makes me stay strong. For them.

I look down at the city, standing on the edge of the building. The lights were bright, not knowing of the pain that the Avengers were feeling. The pain and the loss of one of our own. 

I stood, rocking on the edge, feeling the adrenaline running through my veins. At this time, I needed to just feel something. All this pain, I need to know that I can just feel something. 

I'm not suicidal or anything, but the feel of possibly falling off this building does it for me.

Thankfully, nobody has ever come up here to find me doing this. It would be hell trying to explain to them that I'm actually not trying to jump off Stark Tower. 

I rock a little too far, feeling the wind begin to catch me and pull me forward. Fuck.

"Emily!" I hear someone call as I fall. 

So this is what it feels like to freefall. I like it.

With a simple waft of my hand, I begin to propel myself back up to the rooftop, seeing Bucky standing there, a shocked and scared look on his face. Of course, this is the time he catches me. "What the fuck are you doing?!" He screams at me, pulling me to him and wrapping me into the tightest hug of my life. "What the fuck was going through your godamn mind?!" He yells again before letting me go. 

"I need to feel something. I'm tired of all this pain, I'm tired of not knowing anything. I hate the fact that Hydra has the love of my life. I need to know where he is, Buck, or else I'm going to snap soon." As if it was scripted, Sam busts through the door, panting heavily.

"It's Steve." 

Steve? He's back? Praise the lord. We all run downstairs, to where all the other Avengers were gathered. Everyone was sitting in the conference room, surrounding a screen with a map on it, a red dot in the center. Fury was at the head of the table, back to us. Buck and I sit on one side of the table, Sam on the other side. Fury swoops around dramatically before looking at all of us. "Thanks for joining us. We have a location on Rogers. A camera has just placed him in Belarus." Fury pulls up the camera image before gasps arise. 

He didn't look like the Steve we knew. He had a beard, due to not shaving for the 4 months he's been away from us. The newest and biggest change was the outfit he was wearing. It was matte black, almost the same as Bucky's Winter Soldier outfit. Except on Steve's there was a red Hydra logo. I shift my eyes away, not wanting to look at the image anymore. I couldn't stand the sight in front of me. I could tell Bucky couldn't either. It was his worst nightmare come to life. I feel bad for him. "It seems that Steve is under Hydra's command. Your mission is to retrieve him and try to snap him back to his patriotic senses. I'm sending Stark, Romanoff and Maximoff to retrieve him."  

Fury makes a move to turn around before I stand up abruptly. "I'm going with." He turns around again, a pissed off look in his eye. "I don't care what you say, Fury. Steve is my man, I want to be the one to bring him back." 

"Blake, do not argue with me. You're not going." 

"Fury, someone needs to be there that Steve is close with. Steve needs me to be there. I NEED TO BE THERE." I state before Fury turns around quickly. 

I hear his sigh as clear as day, even with him facing away from me. "Fine. Grab your suits, wheels up in 10."

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Hey guys!

QOTD: Would you ever want to see Hydra Steve? I honestly would be interested in seeing it, especially if Bucky was the main character! Bucky needs more love (thank god there's Winter Soldier and The Falcon coming out!)

The song at the top is The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script!

Hugs and Love,

DashingZiggy