Rebel // Captain America

13 - Liability

After the events of the last month, I didn't think that things could get much harder. The stress was starting to take effect on me. I was forgetting things, more than usual, often coming downstairs to tell the boys something or to grab something to eat then forgetting as soon as I get there. It was beginning to happen more than usual. I often was out of it, ending up walking into people or into things.

I need to figure things out. I can't stay here all my life. I'm not an avenger, I'm not married or family of anyone here, I don't even work for Stark. All I'm doing is basically squatting here until I'm kicked out. I turn the corner before tripping and going headfirst down the stairs. Oh shit. I manage to flip around, somehow creating a light cushion to protect my fall. I stand up quickly, I hope nobody saw that. If they did, they're probably going to use it against me for blackmail. I look around quickly, seeing Steve standing at the top of the stairs. Fuck. Of course him of all people would see it. "Emily?" He says, taking cautious steps, one at a time. "You okay?" I nod, looking away. I was fine, no cuts, probably only a couple bruises. I would have been worse if I didn't catch myself. "Come on, I wanna show you something." He takes my hand, guiding me down the stairs, one step at a time. I know he's doing that so I don't fall again. Nothing's wrong with me, I just wasn't paying attention to where I was going. "I know a lot's going on for you." He walks me through a door, leading me into a garden area. "This is where a lot of us go when we're stressed. Tony had it put in for Bruce when he first moved in, now just about everyone comes here when they're going through something." He walks me to a bench, where a small pond and a stream trickles on. We sit down, my eyes wandering around the place. It was nice. It reminded me of back in Washington.

I had a little place where I'd go in times like these. It was a small community garden on the outskirts of town. Not a lot of traffic and there was almost never any people there. It was a perfect place for me to sit and think things out before going back and confronting the problem. 

"Thanks Steve." I say, looking at him. He clearly has something to say to me, I can read it in his eyes. They were mysterious, as if he wanted to ask something. "What is it?" 

"We are all here if you want to talk. I know that you're bottling it up inside." He stops suddenly before looking away. "I do the same thing. Buck definitely does." He sighs deeply before looking me back into the eye. "Emily, I want you to be happy here. I want you to be happy. I don't want you bottling it up until it tears you up inside out. I can tell you're doing it. The forgetting things, the zoning out. Plus, I know you haven't been sleeping. I just want you to be okay." 

Be okay? Honestly, nothing is okay. "Nothing is okay, Steve. I've moved across the country, developed powers I never knew I had and had someone try to BLOW UP MY APARTMENT! How am I supposed to be okay? I've never had to deal with so much before and I don't know how to deal with it." Tears begin to fall involuntarily. "I just don't want to deal with it." 

He puts a hand on my shoulder before slowly wiping away the tears. "We all don't want to live with our problems. We want them to just go away and us not have to solve them. The best way to deal with them is to let others know what is going on. Bottling it up isn't helping. You may think that you're a bother or a burden but I swear - on my love for America - that you are not. Nat, Wanda, Bruce, Tony, Clint, Bucky, Sam. They all care for you. I care about you. I don't like seeing you this way." He wraps me into a hug, allowing me to cry into his shoulder. "It's okay. We're working on getting you all set up. You may feel like an outsider here, but you're not. You're like all of us. Hell, you're one of us now. We'll help you understand your powers, make you feel at home." He stops talking, just holds me until I feel like letting go. Which honestly, didn't feel like anytime soon. We sat there a while until my tears subsided. I felt better. There's something about Steve that just makes you feel better. He's amazing. "You feel better?" 

I sigh before smiling. "Yea. I'm sorry." I motion to the wet spot on his t-shirt, a dark blue spot on the light blue shirt. 

"It's nothing. I care more about you and your well-being than a spot on a shirt. I'm not kidding though. Tony wanted me to tell you when you were settled in a little more, but I think this is a good time. We talked about it and we think that it's a good idea for you to actually start training with the team. That way you can learn to protect yourself and learn to get a good grip on the extent of your powers. You can hand-to-hand with Nat, Buck and me and power train with Wanda and Stephen. I know you haven't met Stephen, but I think it'll be a good match up." He puts his hand on mine before gently rubbing his thumb on it, reassuring me through all this. Steve's perfect. "What do you think? You don't have to. Just because we think it's a good idea, it doesn't mean that you have to." 

I mean, this would help me. I can learn stuff while at least feeling like I have a purpose here instead of sitting and doing nothing with my time. "It sounds great. When do I start?" Steve lights up at this, visibly excited. He wanted me to agree. After all, it also allows me to get to see him and everyone else on a daily basis.  

"How about tomorrow?" I smile before pulling him into a kiss. What would I do without Steve?

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Hey guys!

Here's a little emotion moment with Steve and Emily!

QOTD: if you had to team up with an Avenger on a solo mission, who would it be? I would want it to be Stephen or Bucky :) 

The song at the top is Liability by Lorde!

Hugs and Love, 

DashingZiggy