Untitled Guilt and Wrath Bends Steel

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Back under the bay...

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The longer they waited, the harder it was to breathe. It didn't help Dabi's emotional state that there was an irrepressible guilt washing through his system. 

The worst part was, the villain couldn't figure out why

Yes, he had made the kid cry, but it made him feel icky. Like slime. Or as though a cold crocodile's claws were sinking into his stomach from the inside, or an elephant was crushing his chest slowly. (Which obviously would not happen, since elephants are wise and Dabi isn't stupid enough to eat a live crocodile whole.

No one ever told him how to distinguish his feelings. "Feelings, a fleeting thing that can turn your world around and apart if you let them. To be a man, you must get rid of them." That's what Dabi's father- 

'NO! I refuse to think of him as a blood relative. He deserves no such title!

Dabi was angry. Yes; Anger. That made sense. That he understood. So, he did the only thing men are suppose to do in this situation; he started yelling, belittling Uult for being so whimpish.

"Oh, would you fucking shut up already!?! Why are you crying? If you don't know, then be quiet"

"Because, *sniff* I feel sad."

'...what?'

"W-well, suck it in! You didn't cry in the hospital! You're a man aren't you?"

Uult didn't stop. Instead, he cried more, uncurling a bit to speak over his shoulder. "Holding it in *sniff sniff* would jusht m-make it worshe. Let me cry nohw. I'll t'ink clearer later..."

"...Aren't you afraid?"

"...Noh... You're not *sniff* very scary..."

Dabi deadpanned. "Are you not afraid that the wrong people will see...this, and use it against you?"

Uult shrugged. "Even if they do, they can't use something against me if I'm not ashamed of it."

Blink, blink.

'Am I... ashamed? Is that why I'm scared? No, I can't be scared! I have to be strong! If I am not strong, then I can't protect anything that I stand for. If I let myself be weak-'

A hand rested on Dabi's shoulder, breaking his thoughts. 

"Dabi, you know... *sniiiiiffff* someone once told me that 'to be able to let yourself cry, especially in front of others, is a powerful. If you let yourself feel, acknowledge all your emotions, you will have complete inner peace.' You're stronger by admiting what you feel. So... you can cry too. Even if you won't let youshelf talk, you can cry. I won't judge." 

Never in his life had the man thought he could, needed, to cry. Yet, as he stood there, eyes welling with tears, he realized something terrifying; Dabi had let society, and his father, win.  Dabi had let himself turn stone cold. Uncaring. He never wanted to become like this! 

Dabi was no longer Dabi; he had become Endeavor's duplicate. Uncaring, violent, tough... the epitomy of a 'man'. A fake, inhuman standard that not only hurts the person through it's acceptance; it kills more men and women along the way. 

And so, in the darkness of their makeshift cavern, he let himself cry.

And I ironically, he felt freed.

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"Wait, how do you know that I didn't cry in the hospital?"

Some time had passed since their tearful duet. There was no real malice anywhere near his voice. 

Stuck in rubble with the Enemy  - Dabi x Male readerWhere stories live. Discover now