Transcendental (Working Title) Completed First Draft Revising Rewriting Editing

Life and Death

Everyone was amped and feeling celebratory, Michael was peeling off his gear and Ryan exclaimed "Whoa Lil dude! You got fucked up! You better go see coach, for real." Michael walked over to the mirror and his eyes widened in surprise. Bruising covered almost the entire left side of his back and side all the way from the base of his neck down his side his entire hip which had a solid purple-black discoloring, and fading down all the way into his mid-thigh, it didn't look good, he turned and it also spread across his lower abdomen along his pelvis

"Fuck! Coach! You gotta get over here man! Michael's fucked up bad!" Ryan yelled, sounding a little panicked. The team heard and started to notice, I came storming around the corner my face a mask of fury as I searched for Michael, having overheard Ryan's yell and needing to see he was actually ok for myself...

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the extent of the damage covering Michael's body, the massive bruise looked dark and ugly and my stomach instantly turned over. Michael should have been better protected from the punishing tackles that the team had been unable to block. I knew the opposing team may not be gone yet and a part of me that felt instant violent rage, wanted to go and hand a fucking beat down to anyone who had laid a hand on Michael.

But Michael was staring into the mirror at himself and his wide eyed stare wasn't looking right... I took a step towards him "You don't look right, man." Michael looked at me in the mirror, and did not move to even turn his head only his eyes followed me, something was definitely wrong because he wasn't speaking but his eyes seemed to widen in fear.

"Someone call 911 now!" I screamed out as I felt the blood drain from my body and I felt pure terror. "Whoever got a cell phone better start fucking dialing!"

I snatched a towel up off the bench and put it around Michael's shoulders "Someone come fucking help me get him down flat without bending him , get the backboard and blankets" the emergency training I had complained about being forced to take and retake every year as team captain, I recalled instantly.

Ryan was there, some of the other guys immediately stepped in and lifted Michael up from a standing position, turning him in midair using great care to prevent any bend, they were purposeful and efficient. as soon as he was parallel to the ground the backboard arrived and was positioned under him and they lowered him onto it and several guys held it while others applied braces then blankets came out to cover him and the team moved as a unit to walk him out to the entrance where the EMT would arrive...

I grabbed my duffel quick, as did the team, throwing clothes on or just tossing they're shit into bags so they could follow to the hospital. Ryan and me were at either side of Michael's head and both saw his frozen expression and tears leaking out his eyes... "Fuck man... your gonna be ok... you hear me lil dude... we got this." Ryan said to Michael, trying to reassure him.

Michael's eyes darted to find mine, it was obvious that he couldn't move for some reason. I felt like I was about to suffocate and couldn't tear my eyes from Michael. Michael's eyes were fastened to mine. What the fuck was happening? I couldn't think of what to say to reassure him, cause my own mind was actually blank with fear. I just put my hand on Michael's head and my fingers dug in and held on tightly.

Michael's eyes stayed transfixed on mine, but did seem slightly less widened in terror now. "Your gonna be ok Michael. You don't have a choice. You got that?" I rasped out at him. The ambulance was just backing up to the school entrance when we arrived. The doors opened and the EMT's came out, Coach was telling the paramedics all the details, while they loaded Michael into the ambulance.

Michael's eyes got all freaked out again when the EMT's had lifted him into the ambulance, I pulled my keys out and threw em to Ryan, Ryan nodded "I got it man, see you there."

He said to empty space as I was already crawled into the back of the ambulance and just put my hand in Michael's hair again while the EMT's assessed him and hooked him up to monitors, and started asking questions, I answered everything I knew, which ended up being fairly substantial.

The ride seemed to have suspended time. Michael's eyes that had been holding mine started to become unfocused and started to droop. I felt all the blood drain from my face and my heart drop to the floor so hard I felt nauseous.

"What's happening?!?" I yelled. But they had already backed into the hospital and the EMTs were rushing him out the door and into the ER/Trauma entrance.

One EMT stayed behind with me trying to ask me questions but I couldn't hear for a moment until I swallowed my heart back down. it was an effort to move. I turned to look at the EMT The EMT was calmly telling me to follow him if I wanted to go to Michael, I barely felt myself nodding, "ok" and I followed him.

They led me through a maze of halls into a large white room where a team of people were surrounding Michael and started asking me more questions about what time the event happened and some medical questions. I did my best, but my eyes were glued to Michael. They administered something called tPA and said they would know fairly quickly if it worked or not.

"If?" I felt like the world was teetering.

A nurse must have seen my distress, because I felt her putting her hand on my arm and explained that Michael had a bilateral ischemic stroke according to the MRI, which is why there wasn't the typical stroke signs of one sided neglect versus the other.

But since it happened within three hours, they were able to administer tPA which she said was a "clot-buster".  And if it successfully cleared the clots, he would need to be in the intensive care unit for quite some time and would still require a blood thinning therapy due to the extensive injuries he had all over his body to prevent the same thing from happening all over again if another clot broke loose. She explained that either way Michael would be at the hospital for quite a long time.

I understood nothing, the words coming out of her mouth felt like a sitcom, because it couldn't possibly be about my Michael. It just made no sense.

"But what's the IF?" I asked again, that one little word was the most terrifying word I had every heard.

The nurse rubbed my shoulder in a gesture of comfort, "The if, is if it doesn't work. There is always a chance, and if it doesn't then we won't know what the ramifications are until his brain swells and then the swelling goes down over the course of two to three weeks. He may require intubation and life support to live. Some decisions would have to be made at that point. But we aren't there yet. Just try to stay positive for your friend now."

The nurse squeezed my arm, then returned to her tasks.

I couldn't feel my face, all I could do was walk over to him, take his hand and hold it.

..........Your my touchstone........

Time had no meaning here. Time was waiting for Michael to be ok, and nothing else. Thinking of the possibility of Michael not being in my life, was unthinkable.

I felt a strange numbing pain. My heart caving in on itself and it hurt, leaving an empty aching hole inside of me, left me feeling lifeless.

Each minute that ticked by without Michael waking up, was like someone stealing away a piece of my strength. The next minute that ticked was someone shaving off a part of my future, making my life seem shorter and infinitely more empty.

..........Please wake up.........

Panic gripped me again for the hundredth time this minute, this incredible pressure to feel a miracle happen, Was the definition of infinite. Because it wasn't happening right now when I needed it to. And waiting for it, felt like eternity.

Michael's eyelids fluttered and opened and then they closed again.

I fell down to my knees.... and I prayed...