Masked//Roman Reigns Love Story

31. People Like Us

Tuesday, December 17, 2013
6:54p.m.

I tried to keep my composure together as I got closer and closer towards the booming sound of female laughter. My heart thumped against my chest, my ears were ringing, and it felt like the slightest bit of wind could knock me off my feet. My breath hitched in my throat as I turned around the corner and came face to face with The Bella Twins, Cameron, and Eva Marie. They didn't like me and I never reached out to make amends. They called after my attack to make sure I was okay, but that was as far as the conversation went.

"Hi," I decided not to be rude and walk by them without saying anything.

"Hey girl," Eva was the only one in the group to respond, but with a lot of hesitation filling her voice.

Following Eva's lead, the rest of them waved their hands and offered hellos. I kept walking down the hall after that, not wanting to stay and run the risk of getting into trouble with them. I was backstage at SmackDown tapings because Mark didn't want me staying couped up in the hotel room by myself while everyone else was working. He'd rather me be in an arena full of security than alone. I just didn't want to be here right now. I wasn't even excited that Joe was here, I just wanted to have space to get my thoughts together. I was trying to connect the pieces and figure out what my next step was. I had to do something quickly.

Aimlessly wandering around the building, I found myself perched up against one of those plastic tables that families set up at the cookouts. My root was holding up well after all the walking and I made a mental note to tell Noah about it at my next appointment. Across from the table was a tv monitor so I could see the action unfold when the show started. Right now I was watching the fans come in and get settled in their seats.

"Hey stranger," JG, Dean Ambrose, approached me with a gentle smile. His hair was dry and shaggy, the ends covering part of his blue eyes.

"Hey, it's so good to see you," I said and he wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug.

"It's great to see you, you look great. I got time, sit with me," he offered and I accepted.

JG and I weren't anywhere near close friends, but we got along fairly well. We ran in the same circles but didn't conversate much outside of those circles. JG is the kind of person to stay in his lane and isn't comfortable with crowds, we were similar in that way. He was extremely close with Joe though, closer to Joe than Colby was.

"How are you?" I started.

"Pretty good, just on the road a lot. You? How are you holding up?"

"I think my ankle's pretty close to being healed so that's a step closer getting back to WWE full time."

"Good, good. That's great news, I'm glad your body's pushing through. But, and you don't have to answer if I'm overstepping, are you okay? Mentally?"

I'd been trying to convince myself that I wasn't still hurting after all I'd been through the past few months. I came to WWE thinking it was going to magically replace every piece of me that was missing and make me whole. All my broken relationships would fade off into the distance or be repaired. I'd be successful and live the life I'd written for myself. I wasn't prepared to have the rug pulled from under me in a matter of weeks. I was benched almost as soon as I entered the game. I knew this transition going to be a cakewalk, but I didn't expect Noah to waltz back into my life, for Aj and I to lose our bond or for Joe and I to reconnect as quickly as we did all within three, almost four months. How do I accept that this is my life now when none of it was planned for?

But JG didn't need to know that.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Really? I don't know what you went through before you got here but these past few months have been a hell of a ride. I'm sure it's taking some sort of toll on you," he pressed.

"I mean, it's a bit of whirlwind but it's nothing I can't handle," I promised.

"Look, you don't have to downplay what you've been through. It's okay if you're still a little scared of what happened on your birthday. The nightmares, the uncertainty, the internal pain, that all comes with the territory. I just hope you're working on your mind as well as you're working on your foot. If the mental health isn't there, shit's gonna blow up in your face, I'm telling you."

I nodded my head. "Definitely. I think being happy just comes with time and I'm working on it."

Was I really, though?

"It's true what they say about healing taking time. But you've also got to put the work in to get to the other side. It takes a lot of time and energy to be able to look somebody in the eye and say that you're happy, and mean it. I've had my fair share of downs just like everybody else but if I never dealt with the shit that needed to be dealt with, I don't know where I'd be right now. For me, it was a matter of getting out of bed every day and looking my demons in the face because I realized nobody else was going to clear them out for me. I had to put in that work. I had to figure things out and have it all make sense for me. I had to be my own security blanket because if I don't have anything else in this world, I need to know that I have myself. I want the same for you. I want you to be able to trust yourself. It's the most rewarding feeling to know that when you go through rough times because there will always be rough times, you can pick yourself back up from it. Nobody's gonna be able to take something from you that's worth anything of importance if you have yourself."

"You know, that might of been the most I've ever heard you speak at one time," I couldn't help but laugh.

"It felt important to say. I'm sorry for talking your ear off."

"No, I needed to hear it. Thank you. I think you have a lot of really good stuff to say and I'm glad you decided to share it with me."

"People like us have to stick together, you know?" he pointed out.

"People like us?"

"Yeah, people like us. We've got a chip on our shoulder and it's really easy to hate the world because of it. Just stay strong. Things get easier if you let it, I promise."