Beautifully Broken

14

Mom woke up. I can't say I'm fully happy.

She's been quiet. Not speaking a word except for I'm sorry. They've all been trying to talk to her but she just nods or shakes her head.

When it's just us, we talk about what happened. How wrong it felt, how broken we are.

She asks me about those days when I was held captive in a horrible web of hidden secrets, dark days and more pain.

She nods as she listens, eyes distant as if imagining a time when things were too good to be true. I guess they were.

I start to put myself in her shoes and my heart breaks even more. Imagine falling in love with the one guy of your dreams, giving that you are and l that you want to be to him. Everything turns out fine at first but then as the years went on they went horribly wrong. The child you made together and eventually you bore being stripped away from the best life you thought you were working hard to give her. Imagine being betrayed, hurt, and stolen from by the one you thought you loved the most.

"Mom, I'm sorry I ever got mad at you." I whispered when the sun just went down and we were alone in the room.

Her eyes filled with tears and she hugged me close. "I'm once again sorry I ever left you."

It's Thanksgiving week next week. Too much time has passed with so much going on.

We sit in the Ramsey's living room, our house too big and too full of memories for mom and I. As much as possible, we stay away.

"So, how about that little vacation?" Jill asks, handing out hot chocolate.

Mom and I look at each other. We totally forgot about that.

"Where?" I ask, excited.

"Well, since the doctor agreed and highly recommended a good getaway before your checkups, I decided to change our trip from a roadtrip to a cruise." Jill says, with a raised eyebrow making sure that no one would challenger her decision.

"Mom and I worked out the details so technically, you can't object." Charity says with a smile. "This'll be fun!"

Mom smiles and hugs her best friend. "Thank you for never giving up on me. For always being there."

Jill hugs her back and I smile.

"Do you wanna hug?" Cole asks, a silly look on his face. "I've never given up on you and I've always been there."

I roll my eyes. "Your head's already too big. I'll pass."

He sighs and hugs a pillow to himself.

"I'll hug you brother." Carson says with a grin.

Cole looks up in time to see Carson engulf him in a bear hug.

We laugh at the scene since they're both definitely too big for baby boy hugs.

"When do we leave?" I ask, redirecting ourselves back to the topic. I haven't been out of the city in years.

"Tomorrow. After church. We fly to Orlando where we take off on a Disney Cruise to the Bahamas." John, Cole's dad adds. "I may have peeked at the details."

Jill looks back at her husband. "John! It was supposed to be a surprise."

His arms wrap around her as he pulls her in for a hug. "I'm sorry, love. Couldn't help it."

They're such a cute and ideal couple. Really good role models and parents. I sneak a look at mom and see her smile, but her eyes are on the wall.