Love i never knew... (bwwm)

chapter 15

Since that night at the party I havent spoken or made any attempt to speak with Philip, the lies the betrayal. Its been four weeks now, he called many times but I didn't make an effort to respond,  I am residing at my  old apartment with Meredith, she gets so beautiful everyday and am so thankful for her. To think I thought I had it all but man was I wrong, the man whom I love cheated on me and lied to my face about it, how can anyone recover, the trust is gone completely.  I haven't told my family about it and am not sure am ready to as yet, I don't want them to look at Philip differently because I still want us to work, its not easy walking away from something you work so hard to build.

Frank and Jace come by to check on me, Jace had grown by a year into one dashing young man, my young man. Everytime I see him, he takes my breath away.  With that I make sure I pay close attention,  Frank is always so warm and welcoming and friendly.

"How's it going?" He asked

"Ok, but not too good. I never wanted any of this, I wanted a family,  a man I can trust and I don't have that anymore."

"I know, there is no excuse what he did, but you guys need to talk and figure this out, he is going through hell right now and we don't want to see him like that, no matter how much he deserves it."

"I am all talked out, there is nothing to say" I said.

I really had nothing to say to Philip, no matter how bad he felt, and I know he feels bad. Well I do have something to say to him but not without my attorney. It pains me to do this but Philip and I need to seperate for a bit to find us without each other, our relationship is beautiful but there is no trust from me at the moment and I needed to trust him again and if that means seperating then so be it.

I got an attorney to draw up some papers for us and he got an attorney to look over them.  This is the first time in a month am seeing him face to face, he still looks handsome except he look to have not been eating, fit but something was different and his eyes there were no spark behind them, I hated seeing him like this but in order for things to change we needed this. Within our seperation I didn't ask for anything only full time custody of Meredith, he can have her on the weekends. He looked at me, but I didn't make eye contact until our session was over. Our lawyers left the room leaving him and I alone,  still I wasn't making any eye contact.

"Is this how it wil be, you won't talk to me only through a lawyer." He asked

"Yes, because I can't trust anything you say."

"Nothing happened between her and I, she's just mad about us, and your going to throw that away."

"Me, what about you, you're the one always going to her with our problems." I fired back.

"It only happened twice and I told you about it."

"After you got caught, I never lied to you or give you reasons to not trust me, but you have and trust to me is so important. " I said

"What can I do to fix this, I will do anything?"

"As of right now nothing, I need to seperate and just focus on me, then we will see what we need to do." I said

"I will do whatever it takes, I didn't do anything wrong other than not telling you how I feel, I never slept with her, I promise."

At that moment I wanted to kiss him and hug him but I had to be strong, I had to find the truth.