lol okay heads-up, 'kags' isn't read as 'keh-gs' here, but 'kah-gs' (basically reading the 'ka' the same way as the 'ka' in 'kageyama'). that way, the jokes will make more sense.
also, title is stolen off 'house of cards' (a good bop by bts).
creds: van for puns bc vanielle is finally one and mispronounced 'kags'
···
qq was pissed. royally pissed. and kageyama was afraid, because she was giving off darth vader vibes.
all over a slice of chocolate cake.
what happened, you ask?
well, kageyama, after a long gruelling day of practice, came back to the apartment to raid for food since he was obviously very hungry and had not enough money to buy meat buns on the way home. he opened the fridge, and found a chocolate cake.
he didn't think much of it, since his stomach was growling intensely and begging to be fed. so he just took the cake and wolfed it down in less than two minutes.
it was only after he finished his meal when he realised that the cake was qq's. and at that precise moment, qq appeared at the entrance of the kitchen as she was pretty hungry after having arranged a quarter of a song in two hours. when she spied the empty container with chocolate stains in kageyama's hands, she'd gotten from sad to mad.
presently, she was ignoring kageyama while sitting on the sofa, scrolling through her instagram feed while snacking on a packet of m&ms. he had tried to apologise, but she wasn't having it because, nope, that was her pastry and she had been hungry and felt that she deserved that cake.
after much thought, kageyama remembered that qq would never turn down a good laugh, so he had come up with a few puns with the help of van, whom he texted for help.
he walked into the living room, lips pursed, reciting his lines in his head.
"oi," he said, ears already turning slightly pink at the thought of the words he was about to say.
more scrolling as a response.
"h-hey," he said, switching to english.
still no response. though she knew he rarely used english unless it was absolutely necessary.
he furrowed his brows and walked up to her before taking her phone out of her hands and kneeled down in front of her, hands on her shoulders. her eyes had to be fully on him. her gaze was dead and indifferent. he took a breath.
"d-do... do you want a kag?" he asked slowly in english, as if testing the words out, struggling to maintain eye contact.
her lips didn't even move, neither did her eyes show amusement.
"or d-do you want to k-kaggle?" he asked, face turning pink, brow furrowing deeper.
still no change in her expression. he felt his insides shrivel and die.
he then broke eye contact, face facing downwards, hands still on her shoulders.
"i'm sorry for eating your cake," he mumbled, back in japanese, "i was just really hungry."
he heard her sigh, "i figured. you're forgiven, and i'm sorry too."
he looked up, face returning to its normal colouration.
"but," she said, holding up a finger, "you have to get me another slice of chocolate cake."
"deal," he said, then letting go of her shoulders and proceeding to stand up, making a move to return to his room.
"hey," she said, stopping him in his tracks, then continuing in english with a smirk on her face, "is the offer for kaggling still up?"
°˖✧ BONUS ✧˖°
"hey, tobio."
kageyama looked down at qq, who was currently snuggling up against his chest, a hand draped around his torso, head facing up at him. his hands never left her waist and her head respectively.
"where'd you get the jokes from?" she asked, "did you make them yourself?"
"no, i got them from ryu-san," he replied honestly.
"figured," she said, then returned to smushing her face against his chest, hugging him like a huge teddy bear.
···
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( 070819 )lol i apologise if the story didn't make much sense
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ever after
Random❝ if anything, i'd like to live happily ever after with you. ❞ ··· ➳ book 4 of the otp series ··· © calqlate 2018 ships oneshots.