ever after

dumb & dumber | various

the ships as incorrect quotes + edited the original incorrect quotes to make it language-friendly lmao

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shonnon

hinata: the light is different out here. it's softer.

shanz: it's called smog.

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tobi-q

kageyama: are you high?

qq: am i what?

kageyama: high

qq: hello

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keivan

tsukishima: you remind me of the ocean.

van: because i'm deep and mysterious?

tsukishima: no, because you're salty and you scare people.

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tadarah

sarah: tadashi, what do we do?!

yamaguchi: *frantically screaming* I DON'T KNOW

sarah: but you're the oldest!

yamaguchi: NOT MENTALLY

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daineta

zan: who the actual fu—

sawamura: language

zan: whomst the actual sexual intercourse

sawamura: what

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kimshi

kimberly: *gasps*

sugawara: what is it?

kimberly: what if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in spanish

sugawara: ..what

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qianru

*oikawa as a gps*

oikawa: in 400m turn right

qian: okay

oikawa: how am i doing as your navigator?

qian: fine

oikawa: am i doing good?

qian: yes yes you're doing great

oikawa: how great?

qian: you're the best

oikawa: you missed your turn btw. tell me i'm doing good again in 100m.

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hajibel

belinda: compliment me.

iwaizumi: uh, you... you have eyes.

belinda: *shrugs* i'll take it.

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keirissa

tea: i don't care what anyone says, the middle of the oreo is the best!

akaashi: light is the absence of darkness, and darkness is the absence of light; one cannot exist without the other.

tea: hey, socrates, it's just a cookie.

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tetsurin

kidnapper: we have your daughter

kuroo: i don't have a daughter

kidnapper: it says "daddy" here on the contact name

kuroo: oh my god, they have zarrin

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makonice

*in bed*

jam: any monsters under my bed tonight?

tachibana: ..no.

jam: well, there'd better not be! i'd hate to torch one with my flame thrower!

tachibana: you have a flame thrower?

jam: they lie. i lie.

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ushinielle

ushijima: shall i compare thee to a summer's day?

danielle: uh, sure, i guess.

ushijima: thou art hot as heck.

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i'm actually wondering if i'm high on crack sjsksk