New York
2019
"Sa apartment mo ba tayo?" Zel asked while driving.
"San pa ba? May iba ba?"
"Malay ko ba kung gusto mong magliwaliw muna. Two bottles, ganon?"
"Nah. Just wanna rest, pero can we buy cookies and milk?"
"Bea, cookies? 1am? Seryoso ka ba? 15 hours byahe mo ah. Baka nakakalimutan mo oras. Sarado na yon. Ang bukas ngayon, bar."
"Fine. Let's party tonight."
"Yes!!! Finally!!!" sigaw ni Zel at nagdrive papuntang The Rum House, Zel and Bea's go-to bar.
"Doctoras," a Filipino bartender greeted them.
"Hi, Ellie! The usual, please," Bea said sadly.
"Anong nangyari dyan, kababayan?" Ellie asked Zel.
"Brokenhearted eh."
"What? She fell in love? Wow."
"I know, right?" Zel agreed.
"Foul! Hurry up, Ellie! I wanna be drunk."
Ellie gave Bea her drink and gave Zel a drink also. Zel is not drinking too much, but she lets Beatriz drink whatever she wants. One glass turned into two, and two turned into three, and Zel lost count already.
When she's already drunk, she started to tell her what she feels. The reason why Zel wanted Bea to drink is because she knows that she needs to surrender her feelings and her thoughts, and a sober version of her best friend won't do that.
"You know what, Zel..." she paused.
"Everyone thinks I hurt him lagi. Everyone's telling me that I'm the reason why this relationship is a mess, that all Thirdy does is understand me."
"Gurl, actually true," Zel said honestly.
"No, no, no. Everyone's blinded because Thirdy is someone who shares what he feels to everyone. Everyone thinks that I am the strong one, the one who's not hurt, but hey, I am human too. Sobrang bullshit when people tell me that Thirdy is tired. Ano yon, ako hindi? Na ako okay lang?
Zel, every time I walk away, hindi yon madali. Every time naiisip ko, what if one day pagbalik ko, wala na kong balikan? Sobrang hirap non. I know people think that the best solution for me is to ghost and leave nothing behind, but with Thirdy around, it changed. Every time na naalis ako, iniiwan ko mga piraso ng puso ko.
Sobrang hirap, Zel, kasi akala nila porket sanay ako, okay na sakin. Tangina, mahal na mahal ko yon eh. Anong gagawin ko kung ito yung buhay ko? Anong gagawin ko, Zel, if natupad yung mga pangarap ko na maging doctor at ang matutong magmahal? Paano pag hindi pwedeng dalawa?"
She's sobbing now.
"Wait. Nasan singsing mo?"
"Zel naman eh. Ang haba ng sinabi ko eh."
"Asan nga? Nalaglag mo ba? Shet ka."
"No. Iniwan ko sa Pinas. Ayaw naman na niya."
"Sinabi niya yon?"
"No, pero di siya sumagot sa text ko. Silence means yes, Zel."
"OA ka. So break na kayo?"
"Siguro."
"Di ka sure?"
But before Bea could answer, she made a face. Nasusuka siya. Zel guided her papuntang parking para doon isuka ang lahat ng alak.
"Ang lala mo naman kasi uminom," Zel said habang tinatap yung likod ni Bea.
Bea's stomach and head are not cooperating. Everything hurts, but the most painful is what she feels inside.
Zel opened her car at inalalayan si Bea sa loob. Umupo lang si Bei at umiyak.
"Akala ko pag nahanap ko na yung pagmamahal, magiging okay lahat, pero bakit ganito? Bakit ako nakakasakit? Bakit ako nasasaktan?"
"Tama na yan, Bei," Zel said, comforting her.
"Zel, bakit parang yung sayo madali lang?"
"Bea, hindi naman madali ang pagibig. Wala namang madali, pero kahit mahirap, kahit masakit, iniisip ko yung saya. Yung saya na tanging siya lang yung makakapagbigay. A lot of people say that you should never depend your happiness on someone, pero in reality, Bea, when a person arrives, you'll never control it. Bigla na lang isang araw, everything that is important is all about him. Pero Bei, love will always hurt and you can do nothing about it. But you can choose someone who you want to suffer with."
Their drama was interrupted when Zel's phone rang. She was shocked.
"Hello."
"Yeah, I'm with her."
Bea looked at her friend this time.
"The Rum House."
"Okay, ingat."
"Who's that?" Bea asked.
"Brien. Asking me saan ako. He'll pick us up daw since we are both nakainom."
"Okay," Bea said at humiga sa kotse ni Zel.
After an hour, a familiar car parked sa tabi ng kotse ni Zel.
"She's hurt," Zel said.
"Yeah. I'm sorry, Zel. I didn't want her to feel that I'm tired. I'm just upset that night."
"Gets ko naman. Ayusin niyo na lang," Zel said coldly.
And he carried her papuntang kotse niya. Zel is the one who moved her friend's luggage papuntang kabilang kotse.
"Nasa pouch niya yung keys nung apartment. Ingat kayo," Zel said.
And before Thirdy could go inside the car,
"Make sure this is the last time, Chef. Sobrang bigat na ng nararamdaman niya," Zel added.
"I know. Thanks, Zel."
And Zel drove away.
Thirdy looked at her. He's tired from his flight, but one thing's for sure, he's okay now. Seeing her sleeping makes all the pain, bruises, and everything bad bearable.
The drive is really long back to her apartment.
Noong naalimpungatan si Bea, she chuckled.
"Zel, I'm so drunk. You look like Thirdy right now."
Thirdy smiled and held her hand.
"Thirdy?" she asked this time.
Nawala yung kalasingan niya. She's really awake now.
Thirdy just smiled at her.
"Is this a dream? What are you doing here?"
"Taking back my heart," he answered.
"What?" she asked.
"You took my whole heart when your flight departed," he paused.
"Have to claim it back."
He smiled and kissed her hand.
