Philippines
February 2017
Thirdy woke up with a really bad headache and in unknown surroundings. He didn't even know sinong naguwi sa kanya. After a few minutes, he remembered the room. This is Bea's room, but she's not beside him, so he fished his phone from under the pillows and dialed his girlfriend's number. The other side of the bed seemed so clean.
"Baka mamaya Bea did some errands," he thought.
Bea's phone couldn't be reached, so he stood up and pumunta kay Loel. He knocked, and Loel just shouted, "Bukas yan."
"Bro, pahangover soup ka naman," sabay higa ni Thirdy sa maayos na kama ni Loel. Nakatingin lang si Loel sa kanya habang nagttoothbrush ito.
"Saan si Bea? Hindi nagpaalam, or baka nagpaalam, sobrang himbing lang ng tulog ko."
When Loel was done brushing his teeth, saka siya sumagot.
"I'll cook you hangover soup," malungkot na sabi ni Loel.
"Yon! Thank you!"
"Go take a bath. Kuha ka ng old clothes ko dyan," utos ni Loel.
And Thirdy just followed what his friend said.
Pagkatapos maligo ni Thirdy, he wore the clothes he borrowed and folded his dirty ones.
Habang nagtutupi, he saw an envelope with his name on it sa bedside table.
Love,
I don't want to see you in pain. Seeing you last night broke me more than you could ever imagine. I know you don't say that much when you're sober, but you're already dying inside. Believe me when I say that I know how it feels to not talk about what you're going through just because you love the person.
Don't settle for less just because you love me. You deserve the world.
-Beatriz
Thirdy couldn't believe what he just read. He kept the letter inside the envelope and put it in his pocket.
He went down and saw Loel making soup.
"She went to the mission pala," Thirdy said.
Napalingon naman si Loel.
"Are you okay?" he worriedly asked.
"She didn't break up with me naman ata. She didn't say it sa letter," he said while preparing the bowls and spoons para kainan nilang dalawa.
"She told me she did break up with you kanina before she left," Loel said.
"Ohhhh. Ikaw naghatid sa airport?"
"No. Dad did, and he's sad. They fought pa nga ata. He'll go daw sa resto later eh."
"Oh, okay. I don't know if I'll go sa resto later eh."
"Huh? You won't check them?"
"I'll ask for updates na lang. I wanna watch Chef's Table and eat ice cream eh."
"Drama boi," Loel teased, and when the soup was already done, he served it and tapped his buddy's back.
They were eating quietly when Thirdy broke the silence.
"Kasalanan ko ata."
"Ang alin?" Loel asked.
"I was so drunk that I was so honest. I told her how I really felt about this setup. How hurt I am na wala siyang plans to live here, how painful it is to hear na parang wala siyang future plans with me."
Loel stared at his friend with concern.
"I hate her when she ghosts, pero I hate her more now because she left you," Loel admitted.
"Don't hate her. Kung hindi ako naglasing, baka she's still here."
Hindi na nagsalita si Loel.
"South Sudan, right?" Thirdy asked.
"No. Please, no, Thirdy! Sinasabi ko sayo! Don't fucking go there. She needs to know also na mahal mo ang sarili mo. Let her. Babalik din yan. Pustahan, two months. She'll call you na."
"Nah. She'll never do that."
"Pustahan oh. 5K," hamon ni Loel.
"G," Thirdy said and smirked.
Of course, Thirdy wished that he really did watch Chef's Table and just eat a pint of ice cream, pero nah. The Grid is so busy that the chefs needed to call him for help.
Lugi man sa lovelife, his business is really booming.
"Oh, asan kambal mo?" tukso ni Kristine kay Thirdy habang naglalakad papasok ng kitchen.
"Huh? Si Dani? They're at the mall. Flight na nila pabalik Amsterdam bukas."
"No, Chef! Si Ma'am Bea! Hindi kayo mapaghiwalay eh," natatawang sabi ni Kristine.
"We broke up," walang emosyong sabi ni Thirdy at dumiretso na sa kitchen.
Naiwan naman si Kristine sa gitna ng restaurant na nakanganga sa balita ng boss niya.
When the restaurant was already closing, hindi pinatay ni Thirdy ang ilaw sa staff, and he said he'll stay muna.
Everyone said goodbye, and when Thirdy was left alone, he got a beer from the fridge and started making pudding, the pudding that Bea made back in NY.
He followed everything that Bea did, and when he put it in the freezer, he pressed the "express freeze" button and umupo sa isang lamesa sa kitchen. Ininom niya yung beer habang naghihintay.
He fetched his phone from his pocket and texted Zel.
"How is she?"
But Zel didn't reply.
"Nasa mission. Malamang busy," he thought.
He set an alarm for an hour to allow the pudding to get cold. When his phone buzzed, he stood up, got the pudding he made, and tasted it.
"Putangina, hindi ko talaga makuha."
Out of frustration, hinagis niya yung bowl of pudding, and all of the emotions he'd been hiding the whole day came out.
"Bakit ba pati ikaw hindi ko makuha?" he said while sobbing.
"Lord, akin na lang anghel ko, please. Hindi ko na kaya yung sakit," he shouted.
He continued to cry the whole night, thinking,
"Sabi mo I deserve the world, eh putangina, you are my universe!"
