Love Me Bro

LMB 21

Beomgyu felt his hand shake when he heard someone knocking outside his studio door and Its almost 2 am and he was sleepless all this week trying to produce music and keyword 'trying'. he doesn't want to die yet or not at least today.

he's brokenhearted, confused and to be honest lost these days. so he distracts himself with music that it is his escape, he can be happy in here he believes.

he stood up from his chair and dumbly put his phone down. “im a man.” muttering to himself, chest up like he is about to face some monster and confidently will try some punching technique from street fighter game from arcades.

his hand reached for the knob the other turned to a fist to punch and once the door completely opens he ready himself to punch. but it was yeonjun who's outside his door, all in his pajamas and cute sweater.

Beomgyu lost the fight his fist turned to be a shield to hide his blushing face, flustered. suddenly his heart aches because how can he be so weak for yeonjun and why is this so unfair?

“why are you here! its midnight!”

“that's what i am here for, its 2Am and you weren't home yet.. you've been here for weeks beom.”

“that's none of your concern sir, i am very much fine.”

“sir?”

“shut up! also why dont you come in? i thought you were some kidnapper or something.”

“come in? i'm here to take you home.”

“i dont wanna.”

“beomgyu.. lets go home, you've been here for the whole week. what are you eating here anyway? what are you doing? are you okay here?”

beomgyu didn't answer if he could he'd say its because of him. how he cannot stand seeing him in their dorm room, hear him calling his girlfriend or seeing him get ready to date his girlfriend or being just happy not because of him.

and if beomgyu couldn't control his feelings, then he'll avoid it instead.

“you cant avoid me forever beomgyu.”

like as if yeonjun read his mind, the boy speaks. or maybe he does can read his mind, after all they've been friends since forever.

“just leave me alone, didn't i tell you that i will go away? i will come back once im okay.”

“i tried to wait, and actually i realized it wont work. i cannot just wait for you to be okay, you are okay beomgyu its just some stupid feelings.”

and that hurt. beomgyu looked down.

“i'll stay here with you then.”

yeonjun entered his studio and the boxes of salad, sandwiches and pizza are scattered on the desk. cans of coke on the bin and some pillow fort was assembled on the corner with Ryan (the stuff toy) inside.

yeonjun chuckles and sat down the floor.

“so you've been just hibernating here like some bear?”

“i didn't let you in to hear your judgements.”

“damn alright, then tell me... why?”

“you already know.”

yeonjun was sat on the floor with beomgyu on the opposite direction sitting on his chair. their eyes directed to each other and beomgyu doesn't know how in the world could he do this right now, probably because he's sleepless.

“you right i do, but i wanna hear it from you.”

fuck, beomgyu hates this.

“dont think what you feel. say it to me.”

“i hate this.”

“what?”

“you wanted to know! so yes, i hate this.. being with you right now.”

“okay.”

“okay? yeonjun i hate being with you right now.”

“okay.”

“okay stupid... go away.”

“no.”

“why not?”

“you've been here for a week... actually you've been gone for almost a month now, beomgyu. you disappear from me.”

“i .. i just wanted to move on.”

“why?”

“ugh oh my god yeonjun you're becoming annoying.”

“why do you want to move on?”

“because we're bestfriends? you love someone else? because... it hurts.”

yeonjun didn't answer, so beomgyu continued on eyes on his hands. its difficult to face yeonjun now.

“i hated that i grew this feelings for you, i hated that its hard, i hate that you love someone else and cannot love me back, but if there's one thing i hate the most its that i dont even want to move on.”

beomgyu bit his lip, he doesnt know why he's letting this out now. this felt like a dream and surreal, how can he just let himself be open in front of him?

“i love you yeonjun.”

he saw yeonjun's eyes, how it expresses nothing but being heard is enough. yes, beomgyu expects yeonjun to attack him right now with a kiss but of course this guy dont feel the same.

beomgyu is starting to accept things.

“god, i swear this feelings started when we we're like first trainee's. i was damn quiet because i want to know who could be loud as me and there you are, handsome, high ranked, friendly weird hyung.”

yeonjun finally reacted with a laugh “weird? hey you were the weird one! i really thought you were shy then the next day youre a complete different person i thought you were some ghost joke or alien!”

“how dare you! im not an alien i just want to be surprising.”

“you are beomgyu, you give so much surprise and you are cool.”

“you hated me because you thought i bullied you hyung.”

“then why were you friendly to everyone but me?”

beomgyu chuckles “dunno, i think you were too cool i liked how you were the one approached me first because no one else did if i dont approach them.. but you.”

“i love this beomgyu, being with you.”

beomgyu smiles and thought but you dont love me.