Moment of weakness - Mayans MC

Ch 14

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Coco asks leaning against the kitchen doorframe. I continue to cut up the vegetables I've been working on silently cursing the fact that I asked Wendy to take the boys out for the night so I could have dinner just Coco and I. I put down the knife turning towards the man I've been seeing for the last few months. His hands are covered in dirt and there's bags under his eyes from lack of sleep. I can't help but from at his appearance. The lack of smirk on his lips makes my blood boil and my heart speed up with anxiety. I don't want to have this conversation. I don't want to explain myself. To explain that my life before is not my life now. Yet here we are looking each other in the eye. Silently arguing because I don't want to do this and he does.

"No." I turn away knowing that isn't the answer he wants. "Oh come on don't act like you're so surprised. I was married to one of you lot for how long of course I had met him before. What did you tell you about me hmm?" I pour myself a large glass of wine before abandoning the dinner that's not closed to finished and sitting down at the table.

"He told me I couldn't trust you." Coco whispers. "That women like you know how to weasel there way in to get what they want." His words are hallow and I can't help but laugh dryly. Of course that's what Marcus said. Me and him had never seen eye to eye. He didn't like my involvement in the club. Something about women had no place knowing as much as I did. He used to call me a Gemma Teller in training. He wasn't wrong about that.

"Get out of my house."

"Karma I just want to know why he's saying these things," Coco shot back.

"Because I was married to a member of another club Johnny! Because I wasn't the wife who sat back and stayed in the dark! Because I to had blood on my hands! Because I knew he murdered his own fucking son! That's why he's saying that shit. Because he doesn't want me to medal in another club that he's in bed with." I groaned turning towards him.

"I love you." His voice was soft.

"Do you believe him when he says I can't be trusted?" I tried to keep my voice steady.

"No."

"Oh how I wish I could believe that Johnny."

—
"I swear I'm going to put a bullet in that mans head if he says one more thing about you! I swear!" Opie grumbled punching the wall. "Walking into my club telling my president my wife is up to no good. How fucking stupid is he?!"
—
"He tried to tell Clay Morrow I would turn on them. It drove Harry mad. I just don't like being in the dark. I've never been a fan of that life. I'm either all in or I'm gone if you can't handle that then."

"Stop trying to run," Coco places his hand on my cheek and I leaned into it. "I'm all in but you gotta trust me to and I know that you don't yet. But I'm not going to sit here and listen to a man who used to know you when I know you now. Okay."

"Okay." I squeaked not wanting to talk anymore. I kissed him slowly trying to stop my mind but I knew it wouldn't be that easy. Trusting people was never my strong suite.