Death Penalty | BNHA Quirk Deku AU | DISCONTINUED

It's Chipotle Time

Fumikage was looking at sunglasses in a little shop at the mall that exclusively sold spectacles, when he heard a familiar voice laughing hysterically. The owner of the voice had never presented himself to be a humorous person, so he took it upon himself to investigate.

Rounding a corner, the bird-headed student discovered a rather unexpected scene playing out before him. One of the more popular students in class 1-A, Izuku Midoriya, was wearing a pair of ridiculously large reading glasses, intently staring at the upper frames of the aforementioned spectacles as though fascinated by them. He looked higher than the Eiffel Tower. Fumikage knew it was fake, but in all honesty, it was rather amusing.

Next to the greenette was a less popular classmate, Bakugou Katsuki. Despite the short amount of time that Bakugou had been acquainted with the students of 1-A, he was already known for his never-ending aggression. As you can imagine, it was a very strange sight to see him doubled over in hysterics.

"Zuku-- what- what the a-actual fuck?" Katsuki gasped out, still laughing. Izuku jerked his head sideways in a sporadic, twitch-like motion, and the glasses flew off his face. His eyes proceeded to become increasingly unfocused, traveling towards the bridge of his nose, and Katsuki collapsed onto the floor, shrieking with laughter. Izuku stumbled around, dizzy and aimless, and Fumikage started to suspect he was actually under some sort of influence.

"Midoriya, please tell me you're not actually as high as you look." Izuku seemed to jump at the sound of his bird-headed classmate. His head snapped around to look at him, completely defying all laws of human anatomy. Fumikage whimpered involuntarily at the inhuman action. Izuku returned to his usual demeanor, laughing and positioning his body in a way that didn't suggest any sort of witchcraft.

"Sorry about that, Tokoyami! I put on some reading glasses that made my eyes look way bigger, and Kacchan said it looked like I took five too many acid tabs so I started acting like I was actually high because I thought it would be funny." Fumikage looked down at the blonde teen kneeling on the floor, giddy and out of breath.

"It would appear that Bakugou also found your behaviour amusing." Izuku laughed. Fumikage shielded his eyes from the shining beacon of light.

"Yeah, I think he did. What are you doing in here, though? I wouldn't think you could wear glasses with your... beak."

"I'm doing Hagakure a favour."

"Really? Care to elaborate?" Izuku smiled and cocked his head, his hands held behind his back in a polite manner. Fumikage couldn't help but think of a puppy, and coughed into his fist. Recovering as best he could, he further educated Izuku on the matter he inquired upon.

"I needed to use the restroom before lunch on Tuesday, and when I got to the cafeteria there weren't any empty tables. Hagakure, Asui, Mina, and Yaoyrouzu's table (I would just call her Momo because that surname is epilepsy at its finest but I had a nightmare a few weeks ago where I sat up in bed and there was a murder of crows perched in random places all over my room repeatedly squawking "MO!! MO!!!!" It sounds stupid but it was actually pretty traumatising and I don't want to imagine Tokoyami saying Momo so I'll just choke on my own confusion trying to spell Yaoyrouzu) had an empty seat so I sat with them. I accidentally spilled some of my hot soup on Hagakure's hand, so now I owe her a pair of sunglasses."

"Oh, neat. Kacchan was being obnoxious so Mitsuki told us to go and mess around in here until she finished shopping, and then we can go get lunch. Hey, once you've got some sunglasses for Hagakure, you should come have lunch with us!"

"That sounds enjoyable. Is Mitsuki the name of Bakugou's mother?"

"Yup! Mitsuki, Katsuki... she kinda just changed the first two letters of her name to make it sound like a boy name, but y'know, whatever floats your boat, dude." Fumikage chuckled at Izuku's bipolar speech patterns.

"Do you and Bakugou often get together on weekends?" Katsuki took this moment to instantaneously rise from the ground - Fumikage couldn't help but imagine the ash-blonde pomeranian standing in front of Isaac Newton and yelling, "YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" - and interrupt the friendly conversation.

"Fucking Bird Brain, how blind can you get? We might as well be superglued to eachother, with how often we hang out. In fact, I bet we could actually be glued together and we wouldn't even know the difference."

"Hm. True. It just seems kind of strange. You both have other friends, and your two friend groups almost never associate with eachother, but you two are practically brothers." Izuku and Katsuki burst out laughing. Fumikage stood there in perplexed silence. His reaction only seemed to make them laugh harder, and it took several minutes for them to calm down.

"Sorry, Tokoyami! It's just funny, because Kacchan and I are brothers by law."

"By law? Like, you both had single parents and they got together?"

"No, the Bakugous adopted me. I just didn't change my surname cuz lol no"

"IZUKU! KATSUKI! GET OVER HERE, WE'RE GOING TO CHIPOTLE!" Izuku grinned at the sound of his mother's voice. He grabbed Fumikage and Katsuki by the wrist and dragged them out of the store.

"Mom, do you mind if Tokoyami joins us for lunch? He's one of our classmates!" Tokoyami stared in awe at Mitsuki, wondering if she wasn't Katsuki's twin sister. She looked way too young to be a mom. Mitsuki, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted to see the bird-headed teen.

"Of course he can come with us! I'm Bakugou Mitsuki, Izuku and Katsuki's mom! You can call me Mitsuki. Tokoyami, was it?" Fumikage continued to stare. It was ludicrously confusing to see a female version of the giant ball of anger cheerfully introducing herself as the mother of the explosively dynamic duo that were the literal definition of the saying 'opposites attract'.

"Y-yes, I'm Tokoyami Fumikage. It's a pleasure to meet you." He extended his hand, and she shook it, smiling almost as brightly as Izuku often did. "Before we go to lunch, though, I need to finish up buying something, if that's alright."

"Oh, it's perfectly alright! What do you need?"

"I need to buy some sunglasses for a friend."

"Anything in particular? We can help you look!"

"Preferably pink, with Hello Kitty on them."

"Well in that case, you don't even need to pay for them!" Mitsuki pulled a pair of obnoxiously pink Hello Kitty sunglasses out of her purse.

"Izuku got these for me on mother's day when he was four. They're certainly not my style, but I kept them in my purse in case I saw someone who needed them." She placed the sunglasses in Fumikage's hand.

"Now come on! It's Chipotle time!"

[A/N] I don't know if they actually have Chipotle in Japan but honestly who cares

Sorry this is late, I didn't actually have that much homework but my best writing time is in the middle of the night and I can no longer do that because I'm waking up at 6:30 every morning

In other words I need to get accustomed to getting less than four hours of sleep if I want to continue updating once a week

I'll probably be 5'3" forever but that's not that bad. Anyways thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Later!