Late Night Thoughts

Lifes Too Short

One day, you'll feel the same. It's a saying I use to convince someone that I will have such an impact on their life, they will feel the same way as me. But it's also used to convince myself. I use it to convince myself that I am good enough for someone to love me. I use it to convince myself that I can have an impact on someone's life, that I actually matter. This phrase can work out in two ways. The first, heartbreak. We can say this to someone and convince ourselves that we really are good enough that they will feel the same about us over time. But as time passes, we just find ourselves with stronger feelings, and their feelings having not changed any. This can lead for us to feel destroyed, and worthless. We convinced ourselves we were good enough for someone and found ourselves wrong. The second, success. We can convince ourselves of our ability to have an impact on someone, and over time we see their mood slowly start to change. We see them start to have the same feelings that we've had towards them. We feel good about ourselves because we were actually good enough for someone. But what if it doesn't work? What if they develop these feelings just to lose them as quickly as they got them? We feel useless again, not wanting anything to do with anyone. No one should feel this way. No one should feel useless and worthless. Everyone should feel like they can make a difference in someone's life. That's what I mean when I say this. I am going to make an impact on your life, because I will convince myself I am good enough. You will either fall in love and we will prosper together, until the end. Or, I will try my hardest to make you happy and for years after you will remember me as the guy that wouldn't quit. You'll remember me as they guy that always gave you what he had and you'll realize what I was willing to do for you, but after I moved on. Life is too short for us to not tell people the truth about how we feel. Life is too short for us to not tell someone we love them, even if we aren't entirely sure we do. I could die tonight in my sleep. But at least today I told you I love you, complimented your smile, and gave a homeless person a warm meal. At least today, I donated to charity and helped make food for starving children. As long as we lay it all out on the table, what is there to lose? The only problem is, when we lay it all out on the table we leave ourselves available to get hurt. We leave ourselves vulnerable when we tell someone we love them. When they don't say it back, it feels like a knife going through our hearts. It's something everyone has, or will experience in life. So wether or not I'm entirely sure if I love you and will invest all of myself into you, why should I not tell you that today? Even if I feel it just a little, because for all we know, today could be our last day together.