Late Night Thoughts

Attachment

Why is it that we get attached to those who show us even the slightest bit of interest? For me personally, I find myself attached to people who show a genuine interest in me, in the way that they want to get to know me and have me as their friend. They make me feel accepted and like they truly care about me and my well being. I get attached to people who show me what it's like to be human and have friends. As a child growing up, into my teenage years and even into adulthood, I've had a very small amount of people do this with me. A very small amount of people have actually shown interest in getting to know me more and be my friend. A very small amount of people have made it seem like they care about me and what I do in day to day life. When we receive something that we have been lacking in life, something vital to who we are as people, we cherish it. We remember those moments and the people who made us feel that way. So when someone shows an actual interest in me, no matter what their motive might be, I find myself attached to them. I care about them and their day to day, wanting to make sure they're okay. I find myself crawling down the rabbit hole of over caring, knowing that one day, sooner or later, the same person who showed an interest in me, is going to hurt me. Wether they do it intentionally or on accident, everyone hurts me in some way. So as I find myself getting attached to people, and I find myself caring for them more than they do me, I know what the end result will be but yet I continue to do it anyways. Is this because I don't want them to feel the same way I have for so many years? Or is it because I am so desperate for that feeling of being cared for that I'll do anything to hold onto it? Does me caring too much for someone push them away? Or did they never really care for me to begin with and I misread what was happening?