Late Night Thoughts

Forever Thankful

You're my only true friend. You're the only person I feel comfortable going to when something goes wrong. You're the only person I've told my feelings to that hasn't left me, the only person I've expected to leave but has stayed. I don't know where I'd be in life without you. I didn't realize you cared so much until you reached out to people to save me, all while crying as you colored a turtle. I know you don't feel the same way about me. I find it so easy to open up to you and tell you about my life but you never seem to do the same. To you, I'm just another friend in your life. But to me, you're so much more. You're my therapist, life line, and closest friend. There's not a thing I wouldn't do to make you happy when you're crying, or calm you down when you're mad. But sometimes I feel like the feeling isn't mutual. There's times where you just seem to brush me off and ignore the warning signs. When I was in the hospital, you were the only person I begged to come see me but you said you couldn't because your parents wouldn't let you. You were the only person that I needed to see to calm me down, because the entire time I was there I still wanted to try killing my self again, I was crying everyday, I wanted to go home and die. But I knew seeing you would make me feel better and put a smile on my face. We've never hung out and the only tome we've seen each other was on a football field. I wish things were different between us. The sound of your voice can make my problems go away, your smile can make my entire day better, and your continuous support for me to get better drives me to get better because I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want to scare you again to the point you need to call and ask for a way to calm yourself down. I don't want to be the reason you cry. I will always feel like a terrible friend for what I did to you during February, and I know there's no way to make things better. But for what it's worth, you're the only person I'm comfortable with because I experienced that all with you and you're still here, in my life. And for that, I am forever thankful.