Late Night Thoughts

I Will

My teacher looked at me confused and said, "You will what?" She was referring to my shirt that had the words I Will spread across the front. I was confused. I had never really put much thought into it. I replied, "What will you do?". She looked at me and said, "I will teach. What will you do?". I thought about it shortly, "I will do what other say I can't do. Not in a rebellious way, but in a way that shows I will defy what people say about me." My entire life, no matter what I do, is set up for failure. At least, statistically speaking it is. As a child without a father, I'm thirty-two times more likely to runaway from home. I am twenty times more likely to have a behavior disorder. I am fourteen times more likely to be a rapist with anger problems. I am nine times more likely to be a high school dropout. The statistics go on and on and continue to show that I am not set up to have a successful life. For something that I had no say in. My father chose to leave me when I was born and leave my mom to raise me all by herself. He left me for failure. My whole life I have dealt with adversity and challenges that children my age should not have to deal with. I have watched someone grow on me, become a father figure and treat me like their own son. I watched that same person drink themselves to their own death bed a handful of times. I have seen what can happen when someone doesn't receive the fatherly love that every child should receive. I have gone through depression and I have experienced putting a blade through my skin. I have experienced suicidal thoughts and I have been hospitalized because of it. No child under the age of 15 should have to deal with any of that. No one ever should. But I never committed suicide like statistics say I should have. In one month, I am prepared to graduate. I didn't dropout like statistics said I should. I never ran away from home like statistics said I would. I have anger problems but I am not a rapist like statistics said I would be. I have constantly proven statistics wrong. Maybe people aren't always the ones telling me I can't, but instead it is society telling me I wont.