The Age Of Aquarius: Awakening My Emotions Through Poetry

Fuck You, I'm Not White

I'm tongue-tied

I couldn't untie it if I tried

Cus this tongue of mine has been on a ride from Amman to Oceanside

When I talk I cannot hide

The way my words struggle to speak

I feel it on my tongue right there at its peak

When I open my mouth nonsense starts to leak

Sometimes I feel weak

And frustrated

I'm misunderstood

I'm jaded

I'm faded

X-rated

I hate it

I just want to speak right

I was born here I have every right

Every word is like a fight

I can't describe what it's like

To have an Arab tongue in an American mouth

Cali born and raised from the north to the south

But when I speak I speak with doubt

Inside it makes me want to shout

Why can't I say what I mean?

Why can't I speak with ease?

Is this some sort of foreign disease?

Cus mama taught us the broken kind of English

The kind she can start but has trouble to finish

I wish it wasn't so hard for her to communicate

I wish this wasn't something we're figuring out so late

It was my fate to struggle

I have to work double

And I don't even get overtime

Where do you draw the line?

At my skin color or my mother's accent

Did you say my name wrong on accident or on purpose?

I often question my purpose when in reality they should be questioning me

My blood comes from overseas

And it paints a picture of poppy seeds

The ink gets wet it begins to bleed

I followed the path what more do you need

You will not treat me as you please

But still I'll ask you please cus I was raised not to judge

Be a good girl or your reputation you'll smudge

Listen to others and don't hold a grudge

But where were the others when I needed love?

And where the fuck was I when I needed love?

I'm in love with who I am now

A first generation Palestinian woman who is proud

And loud

And won't take your disrespect

Me and mine I will protect

And we will progress and be less hard on ourselves

I'd rather not dwell and swell in sorrow

I don't have time to borrow

I am strong now

To my ancestors I bow

To the trunk of an olive tree

Soil so rich there's not much else I need to feed my heart

Within myself if where I start

And I guess the hardest part

Is understanding that I'm different

I said understanding that I'm different

Cus it's not a matter of embarrassment

I got this from my parents

It's my heritage

I'm on a different page

I'm in a different race

We talking face to face

I talk from miles away

Don't think it'll go away

Don't want it to go away

As grandpas land withers away

And his history fades day by day

So I'll say it how I say

I won't say it your way

And you don't gotta treat me a certain way

But I'll take it

I'll still make it

Fuck what you make of it

This is how I speak