patience

Chapter Sixteen

After a long, restless night. I woke up the next morning and decided not to speak to Shawn. I wanted to just say that Alessia was lying to be, but there's no reason that she had to do that. I mean, I didn't want to believe that shawn would use someone for sex either, but people surprise you sometimes. I hated it the most because Shawn and I had just found ourselves doing the same thing. How ironic is it that the night he takes my virginity, Alessia decided to come clean? I swear this type of thing only happened in the movies. I had been thinking of what Alessia asked me last night, if I was mad at her, and the only answer I could give to that was 'I don't know'. Because, I didn't know. How could I be mad at her when I'm doing the same thing. She doesn't know I'm doing the same thing, but I would still be such a hypocrite. But, on the other hand, If Alessia knows that Shawn and I are becoming close, I feel like she would speculate an attraction. If you asked me if I was mad at Shawn, I would tell you that I was infuriated. For one, he also didn't tell me about him and Alessia, and what he did say was a lie. He said nothing serious happened, but I highly disagree. And, also the way he treated Alessia when everything was going in with them. Personally, I still loved him, but I loved Alessia more. Maybe I could just break up with Shawn and we would never even have to tell Alessia anything about us. That would be great, other than the fact that I wouldn't have Shawn in my life anymore.

I didn't want to get out of bed. I stared at the ceiling thinking of everything. I knew I had to get dressed soon to go to the venue, but I couldn't care less about the show tonight if I'm being honest. My thoughts were soon interrupted by a text message. It was shawn.

Shawn: good morning, beautiful. i love you.

I decided not to respond back. I wanted to hate him, but you can't hate someone that you love, and God knows I love him. There was then a knock at the door. Alessia walked in. I could tell she had been up most the night crying.

"Hey, you coming with me today?" She asks referring to if I was coming with her to the venue right now. She couldn't even look at me. She just stared at the ground.

"Uh, I-I think I'll be over there later" I say. I couldn't look at her either. She sighs.

"Riv?" She says. I could see her finally look up at me out of the corner of my eye.

"Yeah?".

"You still love me, right?" She asks with a shaky voice. Those words shattered my heart. I looked over at her with tears in my eyes. I don't know why, but I didn't say a word. She sniffs. "Actions speak louder than words". Before I can say anything she walks away willing her face. Normally, I would have gotten up and went after her, but I felt as if I were bound to the bed. Of course I still love her. There wasn't a thing in the world that would make me not. I just needed to wrap my head around everything.

I slammed a pillow down in my face and screamed. There was only one person I wanted to see right now, and thankfully she was only hours away. My baby sister.

***
An hour later, Dallas knocked on my door. As soon as I saw her, I started crying. She scooped me into her arms and held tight.

"Dude, what happened?" She asks. "On the phone you sounded...broken". We go and sit in the couch.

"Well, you know Shawn, right?" I ask. She nods. "Well, he and I became close friends when I first got on tour, and soon enough it turned into more than that". Her eyes were wide.

"You and Shawn?" She questions. I nod.

"Were official, but not to the public.  Meaning, you're the only person that knows about he and I" I say.

"What about-".

"Alessia knows absolutely nothing" I say. Her mouth hung open. I knew that would be shocking. "It's what happened last night that I'm freaking out over".

"What happened?" She asks.

"Yesterday was the first time that Shawn and I...you know. Well, when I got back to the hotel room, Alessia told me that she needed to tell me something and had to be honest about it. She then went on to say how she and Shawn were kind of friends with benefits for a while last year and that she had a few scares. She said she never told me because she didn't want me to think differently of her. I can't be mad because I'm keeping a secret from her, but I know she knew we were getting closer, so that just makes me question why she wasn't honest. And then shawn is a whole other story" I explain. She looked like I had told her a government secret or something.

"Sounds like you need to tell Alessia the truth" She says. I sigh.

"Alessia thinks I hate her" I say. "I don't but...I-I just don't know".

"Riv, you have to make it right with Alessia before you do anything, because I'm not going to be here tomorrow, and when you confront Shawn, you'll need backup. She has your back" She says. I nod.

"Do I tell her tonight?" I ask. She nods.

"After the show. You know you have too" She says.

"What about Shawn?" I ask.

"He has nothing to do with it. This is you and Alessia. She not just your cousin, she's your bestfriend" She says. I knew she was right. I would talk to Alessia later tonight. I would tell her the truth and deal with Shawn later. Honestly, I would probably break up with him.

"Okay, I'll talk to her tonight" I say. Dallas pulls me into her arms and squeezes tight. She was just the person I needed today.