Backstage

Chapter 27

Esme POV

12 weeks had been leading up to this, the night of the film showing. I'm not sure if I'm nervous or excited. Though I'm so happy at how the film had come out. I just hope Mark likes at as he's the one grading it.

Dan was on his way to pick me up. After our date which went really well Dan and me had become a couple. I'm not sure whether I like that word. I was just amazed Dan actually wanted to be with me. Everyone seemed to be happy about me and Dan which was a bonus as it would be very awkward if Belle and Millie didn't like him. But i still hadn't told him. Truth is I guess I'm scared. But I no I need to. It isn't fair to either of us.

10 minutes later there was a buzz from downstairs signalling Dan was here.

"Hey" Dan greeted me as I walked out the gates.

"Hey" I walked up to him giving him a quick kiss on the lips. Though Dan had other ideas when I started to pull away to walk round the car to the passenger side he pulled me into a deep kiss. After a minute or so we pulled away both breathless. I could kiss him forever. Stupid human need to breathe.

"Missed you today" Dan whispers in my ear as we pull away from the hug were in.

"Missed you to" after spending almost every day with him for 12 weeks it was weird being alone today.

It was only a 20 minute walk to the college building for the showing but cause we're both lazy shits Dan offered to drive.

Though we're here five minutes early it looks like everyone is here. Dan has a firm grip on my hand as we enter. No one seems to notice us but Isaac who smiles in our direction.

"Hey love birds" ah yes Isaac had a nickname for me and Dan. Sometimes he even called us the star crossed lovers from distract 12 ( only hunger games fans will understand that).

Sophie rolls her eyes at Isaac "hey u nervous?"

"I'm shitting bricks" I've never understood that saying surely shitting bricks would be painful not make you nervous.

"It will be fine" Dan gently squeezes by hand.

"Hello everyone. By the sound of things it seems the last 12 weeks has gone smoothly enough. I can't wait to see what you've created" Everyone goes silent when Mark begins speaking. He seems excited so I guess thats good.

5 minutes into the first film I realise just how much horror films terrify me. Yes okay call me a wuss but I just get freaked out ok?! I'm literally clinging to Dan for dear life but he seems pretty sacred to. We end up silently giggling at each other being scared.

All the films we'd watched so far have been amazing. Well done. Well edited. Good affects. Scary as fuck. Just great. I'm starting to get a bit worried. Yes ours is scary but it's completely different. It's like a horror film parody. I just hope Mark likes it.

Then it's finally time for ours. Dan tightens this grip round my waist. I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. My back was tingling under this hand. I hate how he can affect me so much!

Everyone looks intrigued. But everyone laughs and jumps at the right moments so I'm happy.

It's feedback time. (That sounded like I was a game show host haha. I'm so funny...) when it comes to us Mark grins.

"We'll done you four! Completely different and creative. I was not expecting that! Who's idea was it?"

"I guess everyone's really. We where brainstorming and it just sort of happened" I explained.

"Well it was actually Esme who suggested it. She said it would be a bit like the parody of twilight 'Vampires suck'"

"Well it was a great idea. Really proud of you guys"

"Thankyou"

We'll get are final marks within the next few days. I've been smiling since we left. I'm now at Dan's. Finn must be out so its just us to. The TV's on but we're not really watching it. My head is on Dan lap.

"I owe you an explanation" I need to tell him.

"No you don't"

"I want to tell you"

"Okay"

"It started when I was 12. I had my first panic attack. I didn't know what it was a first. I had them every now and again for 2 years. When I was 14 I realised I had Anxiety. It started to get worst and worst. I couldn't do anything I use to. It really got to me. I was depressed." I couldn't look a him for the next part" I made my first cut when I was 14 in August 2014." I felt Dan shift but he stayed silent. "My anxiety and depression got worst and worst though my GCSE's. My relationship with my friends and family started to break as I pushed everyone away. I didn't want to hurt them. Belle and Millie were the only ones who stayed. It started to get better when I turned 18. I moved out and started fresh. I decided I get to decide my future. That's when I really got into film. I loved it. It was somewhere I could be myself. Express myself. Then I found this course. And meet you. If you want to break up I understand. I shouldn't have keep it from you for so long. I haven't cut for 8 months though I still have the scars" shame runs though me. Though I wouldn't change anything. If none of that happened I wouldn't be who I am now.

It wasn't everything but it's enough. I don't think he needs to know everything. Not even Belle and Millie know.

"Where?"

"What?"

"Where are the scars?"

"Oh on...on my hip and some on my legs. A couple on my arms but there not to noticeable..." Dan takes my hands and brings them to his lips and kisses them gently.

"I never want you to ever feel like that again. I don't care about your scars. Your perfect to me" the tears start to run down my face. I don't deserve him. He puts his hand under my chin lifting my head to look at him. He wipes the tears with his other hand and then kisses me. I kiss him with everything I have.

"I love you" Dan says between kisses.

"I love you too"

Before I know it my legs are wrapped around Dan's torso as he's carrying me to his room. My lips don't leave his for a minute. He takes off his shirt and starts to take off mine. Wow that's a nice six-pack. Dan stops for a second and leans over to a draw. I realise he's getting out a condom.

"Do you want to?" I nod. I love Dan and I want to be with him. Anyway it's just sex it's not like either of us are virgins. Dan kisses my scars and for once I'm not ashamed.

Whatever happens now I know Dan will be there. I can't even begin to say how amazing that is. I trust him and for me that was hard. But I just hope I've put my trust in the right person.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sorry this is a day late but I've been super busy.

It's a bit soppy but I think it kind of had to be.

Later beautiful people,

~E x