Rainy Days [Poetry]

Memories

This feeling is consuming me. I know that I'll never be good enough, but your self-validation - it's all I have. I know your smiles are made of pity and that your kind words are just a lie, but they keep me alive. Like bees to honey, I crave it. I wait for it and cry when it gets snatched away.

And I hate that I'm growing so dependent on you, but what can I do? The burning feeling that is starting to consume me isn't normal. Your smiles are the sunshine to my day and I hate how you don't know that. I hate how you talk about yourself in such a self-deprecating way because you don't deserve it. You deserve happiness, and our friendship isn't ever going to give you that.

But I'm selfish, and I'll appreciate you anyway. I'll always remember this journey and remember the times you cheered me up - whether you meant to or not. I'll recall our arguments fondly and wish you all the best when you do finally decide to come to your senses and leave my life.

For as much as I long for comforting nights under starry skies with you, I know that it'll never happen. This is no fairytale, and there will be no happy ending. There will be no frolicking under the bright sun, no making of flower chains or exchange of promise rings, and that's alright.

This feeling is consuming me, and I can't find a way out. I know that, one day, you'll leave with your hugs and laughter and I'll be enveloped in darkness once more. But that's okay, because I'll always have memories.

Memories, a forgiving blanket in a time of pain.
_

🌺 // note —

the next update will be an actual poem - please bear with me :( my feelings are going haywire and i genuinely don't know why but i've never felt more alone :"))) anyway, have an amazing day ahead! take care and remember to get enough rest <3 i'll be there for you !!!