Skylas

Music and Sexual References

Skylar: Good evening. I'm Skylar Hudson, regrettably here with Lukas Harden. I mean serious, I could be doing so many other th-

Lukas: Good evening. I'm Lukas Harden, here with Skylar Hudson. Our topic tonight is-

Skylar: Pervs on the internet? I mean seriously, if a girl, or gay guy, says they don't want a pic of your "gigantic" hose, then don't send it. There is really no reason to have a dick pic on the internet or any social thing out there. If it's erected, cold shower or jack the fuck off. Just don't announce it to the world.

Lukas: Are you done yet?

Skylar: Yep yep. Go ahead Luka.

Lukas: Yeah... Don't ever call me that. Any way. Our topic is-

Skylar: And another thing. Why would it be erected in the first place? Were you watching porn or something? Cause if you're under 18, that probably isn't a good idea. Watching it is somewhat wrong. Don't ask me, believe me I am one of the worst influences, but really there is just no reason for it. Porn breaks marriages, families, relationships, friendships, et cetera. Seriously, I think I caught my cousin watching it one time..

Lukas: Wait, Christian? Really?

Skylar: No, it's a cousin you don't know. Plus, watching porn takes up electricity, unless it's on your phone. Then it's just taking up coverage and mobile shit. You literally throw out five bucks every episode of Hard Hat Gang Bang you watch.

Lukas: Is that really the name of a porno, Skylar?

Skylar: Beats me. Look it up. And another thing. Names. I've heard some pretty messed up names. Example. Sexy Lesbian Couple Plays With Melons, Hard Hat Gang Bang, Is Your Mother Home?, Hot Mother F***s Her Sons BestFriend. Messed. Up. As. Crap. The names make you only imagine what is going on in the video. I mean, come on people. If you're going to make a porno, name it something intelligent like, "Sexy Times With This Random Object That We're Using For Some Crazy S&M Shite", and maybe put a brief description in the box below. Seriously.

Lukas: Skylar, you can't talk about this stuff on the air.

Skylar: Then what the Hell do you suggest I talk about??

Lukas: Finally. Our topic of today is actually Sexual References in Music.

Skylar: Oh good. I thought it was going to be religion or something stupid like that. You know, I actually stumbled on a porno that was called, Getting Freaky to Derulo. Again, where's the intelligence. my respected, yet tragically humiliated human race?

Lukas: Skylar...

Skylar: Hold on, Lukas. And another thing. S&M. The little bastard who created and experienced it first should be whipped and tied up and covered in boiling hot chocolate sauce and whipped again until they bled this time. I mean seriously. I thought they would stop at porn, but noooooo. They had to go on and add whips and chains and whipped cream and vibrators and gags and plastic/rubber thingys that are suppose to make you "feel good" when really it's just pleasing some slutty masochistic mind, and anything else you can find in 50 Shades of Dominance and Submission.

Lukas: SKYLAR!

Skylar: Yes?

Lukas: You're getting off topic.

Sky: How so?

Lukas: The topic is sexual references in music, not S&M.

Skylar: Jeez Luka, you're such a prude. Oh, that reminds me. S&M. The name of the act stands for Sadism and Masochism. Sadism is basically where you feed on the delicious feel of sexually punishing another person while masochism is the one who melts at the thought of being tied up and beaten with the most horrid of items and punished severely. Sickening, isn't it?

Lukas: So in other news, the sexual references in music causes scenes at functions, usually concerts and prom, usually sexual activities.

Skylar: Reminds me of this one time I went to a Falling in Reverse concert and I stumbled into the bathroom where a couple was getting freaky. Even better, it was a lesbian couple. I mean, they were literally ea-

Lukas: Again, off topic. But it looks like we're out of time. Any parting words, Skylar?

Skylar: Just some advice. Kids, practice safe sex, use condoms, lube, ass cleaner. Clean your whips, polish your handcuffs, and get more rope, extra tough, or some scarves. It's more classy that way. But hey, be safe and make it enjoyable. Lukas?

Lukas: Couldn't have said it better myself. Again, this is Lukas Harden here with Skylar Hudson. We'll see you next time on Skylas. Good night.