Skylas

Procrastinating in Relationships - With Guest Star Briana Patterson

Skylar: Haha! I did it! I finally managed to kidnap Briana freaking Patterson!

Lukas: Here we go...

Briana: Hiya brosives!

Lukas: Good evening. I'm Lukas Harden here with Skylar Hudson and Briana Patterson-

Brilar: THAT'S US!!!

Lukas: Right... Our topic tonight is Procrastinating in Relationships.

Skylar: So Bri, have you been in contact with Julian and Lucas?

Briana: As a matter of fact, they were over last night. They stayed in the guest bedroom. Honestly, I don't even want to step foot in there ever again. Let's just say, they made lots of noise...

Lukas: We're getting off to-

Skylar: Gay sex. My my my. Hanging out with gay guys most of my middle school to high school career, I've learned a lot about that. In fact, I have even walked in on Blex once. Alex's face twisting in pure pleasure, straining under the exotic ecstasy while Blaise is satisfying his sexual lust and pleasing the love of his life with everything he has got. Sweat pouring down onto both of them. What a sight.

Briana: That's a great mental image.

Skylar: It was a better reality. Blaise has a body. I mean day-um. And you'd never think that Alex would look so good under his pink clothes, but his ass was amazing. Anyway, gay sex seems like it would be more pleasure, but then again...

Briana: Most guys don't want a willy shoved up their arse.

Skylar: Precisely. But just the sound of it. The writhing, the screaming of the other person's name, the mess of moans and whimpers. It's just perfect. Makes me shiver. Oohhh.

Briana: Exactly. Although, I am perfectly fine with heterosexual intercourse.

Skylar: Gaga, you sound like a prude. However, of course. And doing it with the one you love, must be a dream.

Briana: You're telling me...

Lukas: This is rather uncomfortable...

Briana: Oh hey Luka!

Skylar: I forgot you were there. Boy, aren't you quiet.

Lukas: Anyway, back on topic. Procrastinating-

Skylar: Procrastinating is basically putting off something you really don't want to do. In relationships, that bad. Don't ever do it. EVER. Like if your gf wants you to take out the trash, just do it. You'll get rewarded later.

Briana: Dating, Hell, being in a steady relationship is tough. There is a matter of pleasing the person mentally, sexually, emotionally, just a lot of things you have to do to make it work.

Skylar: Like Briana and Brian, my main homies, have been together since the beginning of time and they are seriously in love. I swear. It's a wonder they're not always going at it.

Lukas: Sky...

Skylar: Hush Luka. Now I have another topic. Kidnapping. In junior year, the boys kidnapped me loads of times. My views on real kidnapping. It's stupid and pathetic. I mean really, if some bozo is going to kidnap another person, they're either a stalker, a psychopath, a sociopath, extremely suicidal, or all of them, which is really dangerous and you should check into a mental ward... like now.

Briana: I was thinking the same thing, Sky.

Lukas: Ugh. Girls...

Briana: Anyway, kidnapping is bad and so is procrastinating, Luka...

Lukas: What??

Briana: Anyway, off topic. Sex with food. Or at least the yummy toppings..

Skylar: Questions most asked by sexual craved bastards *cough cough Julian Fields* Example: Whipped Cream or Chocolate Sauce or Caramel Sauce? Top or Bottom or The Meat? Scarves or Rope or Chains? Freaking pervs.

Briana: I know right!

Lukas: You know what, I think we're done here. Any parting words, Skylar, before I go and wash my eyes out with bleach?

Skylar: Oh yes. Stay away from the milky white stuff until you're older than eighteen.

Briana: And practice safe sex!

Lukas: Alright then. Um, again, I'm Lukas Harden here with Skylar Hudson and-

Skyana: BRIANA PATTERSON!

Lukas: Er, obviously. We'll see you next time on Skylas. And goodnight.

Skylar: Ciao!

Briana: Au Revoir!

Lukas: Ugh!