Skylar: Did you know that pigs have the curliest tails?
Lukas: No, really?
Skylar: Yeah?
Lukas: Fascinating. It's like new information to me.
Skylar: Off topic, Lukas/ Good evening. I'm Skylar Hudson here with Lukas Harden and our topic today is Hot or Not.
Lukas: ...
Skylar: So, when you go through puberty, you go through a lot of changes. Your body includ-
Lukas: Shut up! You're doing my job. You're supposed to be the inapproriate one that everybody loves and I'm the one who attempts to get you back on topic. Go back to the way you were NOW!!!
Skylar: Later Lukas. Now back on topi-
Lukas: Fine. I have an issue to talk about. Do you know what really bugs me? Strippers. If they're not slutty enough, no boner. If they're too slutty, Run! Another thing, boners. Boners are so easy to spot, so hard to hide, and getting rid of them? Don't even get me started on it. It makes everyday just Hell. And here's the thing, it doesn't even take much to turn us on. I mean honestly, if a girl touches our thigh, brushes her chest up against us, lots of things that set that region off. Or shall I sa-
Skylar: Enough. We need to get back on topic.
Lukas: Uh. No. You need to actually get slapped and I need to stop talking about strippers and boners. That's not okay.
Skylar: Yeah, stop talking about that stuff. That would be a great idea...
Lukas: Hell no, I'm doing this. I have a topic. Gay superheros. Batman and Robin. Everybody knows them.
Skylar: I'm pretty sure they're screwing. I mean, they're probably popping in a quickie whenever they can. Example:
"Batman, the Bat Signal is flashing" -Robin
"Let's go, Robin!" -Batman
When they're supposed to be stopping a villain =
"Harder Batman, harder! Oh god, don't stop!" -Robin
Lukas: SKYLAR! YOU'RE BACK!
Skylar: But we're off topic...
Lukas: Dammit! No!
Skylar: So puberty...
Lukas: Gay superheros. Batman, Robin, Flash, Green Lantern, et cetera. How many do you actually think are gay?
Skylar: Way more than that.
Lukas: Care to share?
Skylar: Sadly, we have ran out of time. Any parting words?
Lukas: Yep, hold on. *pulls out phone and makes phone call* Ryan, stop what you're doing and slap some sense into your girlfriend. Skylar's being difficult.
Ryan: What are you doing?
Skylar: I'm not being difficult!
Ryan: Hi beautiful.
Skylar: Heya handsome.
Lukas: We're just about to end another podcast, but Skylar's being difficult.
Skylar: I'm really not!
Ryan: How is she being difficult?
Lukas: You know how she's her usual, pervy self all the time? Well now she's acting like I usually act. Again, not cool. Pisses me off.
Skylar: Ryan, I'm fine.
Ryan: I know you are, Sky.
Skylar: We need to sign off. I'll talk to you at home, Ry.
Ryan: Okay. See you soon.
Lukas: By Ryan.
Ryan: Bye. *hangs up*
Skylar: Okay. Again, I'm Skylar Hudson here with Lukas Harden.
Lukas: And we'll see you next time on Skylas. Seeya, bitch!
Skylar: Au Revoir!
YOU ARE READING
Skylas
HumorStevie: I do not approve of this story for children 12 years and under. Skylar Hudson and Lukas Harden hate each other enough to start a talk show. I have been told that this is not a good show (even though it really is, it gets better, I promise)...
