rumour has it | ✓ [ old version ]

xxiii. it's just more secrets

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

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I sigh in annoyance as I look at the mess in front of me. Boxes are scattered everywhere and I didn't know where to start; to be honest I didn't know why I'm here. I just got bored and decided to randomly look through family photos which are, sadly, in boxes in the attic which is unfortunately a mess at the moment since neither my dad or I come up here unless absolutely necessary which is never. Goodness, this is how desperate I am to rid of the boredom that is in the pit of stomach.

"That's start with this one." I mumble to myself as I grab the closet box to me. I open the flaps and sadly, all that is in the box is just craft stuff that neither of us use. This is going to be harder than I originally thought. Moving my body through the crowd of boxes, I keep a look out for anything that seems to contain photos

After awhile of looking, my eyes finally spot a small box that is on a high shelf that I couldn't reach with my height. With narrowed eyebrows, I look around for a ladder or something I can use to give me a little bit of height just so I can reach the box. I grab the small ladder I see and bring it back to where I once was before putting the ladder right near the shelf. Slowly, but surely I step on each step and when reaching the final one, I grab the box off of the shelf.

With the box in my hand, I make my way down the ladder and stop when my feet land on the ground. Using the surface of the metal ladder, I put the box on the top before removing the lid. However, grabbing the ladder and grabbing the box was a waste of time since there wasn't any family photos in the box, instead there were envelopes. Curiosity fills me as I grab the first one closest to me.

'THUNG LUKSAW KHXNG CHAN'

Was written on the front. From the little Thai I learnt, I know that these words were saying 'to my daughter'. I didn't know Thai completely, but dad made me learn it without giving me a reason why. Could this be why? I pick up the next envelope and read what's on the front.

'PHEUX PHX BUYTHRRM KHXNG KHUN'

I got the words 'to', 'father' and 'your' from that sentence, but the final word I didn't understand. Clearly, these are meant for me right? I didn't know, but if there aren't for me than why are there in my arctic in my house? I know I shouldn't do this, maybe their do belong to someone else and dad is just holding the box for them? Quickly, I put the lid back on the box and tuck it underneath my arm before exiting the attic on the stairs that go down to the floor of our hallway.

After I close the attic door, I make my way to my room where I close the door and sit on my bed with the box in front of me. I go to open the lid once again, but retract my hands; do I really want to know what this box contains? Taking a deep breath, I open the box again and grab the first letter that I grabbed when I was in the attic. If I don't do this now then it'll kill me later and I won't be able to sleep tonight.

The envelope burns my hands as I stare at it. I quickly rip it open and pull something from inside the envelope; I'm right, it's a letter. It's folded, so slowly I begin to unfold the piece of paper. Nerves settle in the pit of my stomach as the paper is finally unfolded and my eyes are met with the sight of messy writing, but it isn't messy to the point where I couldn't read it.

Luckily the words in the letter are in English and not in Thai otherwise I'd be here until my seventy birthday. I begin to read the words and as I do so, tears fill my eyes and anger, sadness and every other emotion there is flows through my veins. Why did he keep this from me? I thought that after my dad told me that I'm adoptive that would be it, that's the only secret between us, but than I find this.

I've never felt this pain before. I want to cry, I want to throw this box across the room, I want to scream until my voice doesn't exist anymore. It's just another secret after another and my heart couldn't handle this anymore, I couldn't handle this anymore. There's only so much my eighteen year old self can take. After reading the letter, I look through the others in the box.

With the words that are in Thai that I couldn't understand, I use google translate to help me find out what the words on each envelope says. One is for a wedding, the other is for  kids or kid, another is for a graduation. It's for every situation that a person goes through  in their life. But it isn't for a wedding, the letter is for my wedding, for my kids and for my graduation which is in a few months. There's one, however, that stands out, it's labeled 'for him' but of course in Thai.

Who is 'him'? It's not for my dad since there's already a letter for him and I couldn't find a letter that appears to be for my biological father, so maybe this is for the love of my life, the one I'll marry which will never happen. Tears roll down my cheeks as I grab the letter that was written for me before standing up from my bed and exiting my room.

I need to confront him. So many questions, yet I don't want to believe anything he says because I don't know if it's a lie or the truth. I find dad in the living room, sitting on the couching watching the football on TV. He turns to me and when seeing the tears streaming down my face, he pauses the TV and looks into my eyes.

"What's wrong sweetheart?." He asks, worriedly.

I sniff and hold up the letter "why didn't you tell me that my biological mother was dead?."

I'll never forget his reaction

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I do not know Thai, so if any of it is wrong please let me know. English is my first language and even I can't speak it properly sometimes, so I'm using google translate, but if anyone knows Thai than please let me know if any of the translates are wrong, so that way I can fix it! If you're enjoying the story, vote, comment, share or all three if you'd like. Enjoy the story!

'THUNG LUKSAW KHXNG CHAN' = TO MY DAUGHTER
'PHEUX PHX BUYTHRRM KHXNG KHUN' = TO YOUR ADOPTIVE FATHER

Also updated a second time because I was bored and I can, soooooo.....

Love, Taylor