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xxxvii. i'll miss you, julia

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN

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Her hand is cold and her skin is sickeningly pale, her breathing is slow and her eyes are closed, having no idea that it's me who's sitting beside her and not her son, daughter in law or her grandkids. They were all talking with the doctor who needed to speak with them, leaving me alone with the badly sick and older woman.

Tears threaten to fall, but I hold them back. I just need to say a few things and then I can go somewhere private to release the tears that eagerly want to escape.

"Hi Julia-." I begin to say "it's Faye." I tell her with a small chuckle "so you have cancer? I didn't expect that coming, you're always so happy and cheerful whenever I saw you, but I guess that's how you are when realising that your life is ending-."

Everything hurts, I couldn't breath and my heart begged me to stop the torture I was causing it "I don't know how to say what I want to say, I've never gone through this. I didn't have to go through seeing someone die because my birth mum died a few months after I was born." I explain, gripping her hand softly.

This is horrible. Mr Preston was right, how can anyone live after losing their own mother or let alone someone they loved "I guess I can tell you this now, but I'm adopted. Looks like we both had secrets huh?-."

By this point the tears don't care about what I say anymore, they just roll freely down my cheeks and I don't stop them "that's how this whole thing started, it's why Mitchell and I begun fake dating, sorry to break your heart Julia, but Mitchell and I aren't really together, he just wanted to grant you your dying wish." My voice croaks with each word I speak.

I'm kind of glad she isn't awake otherwise she'd see the complete mess that I am at the moment "you have an amazing grandson, I can tell how much he cares for you, he loves you to the moon and back and I know that since he blackmailed me to make you happy-."

I chuckle again, but it's fake "Mitchell and I actually hate each other, well used to; he isn't as bad as I thought he was and I can see why you adore him so much."

I close my eyes and take a deep breath in "but I don't blame you or him, it's so easy to like the both of you, well mostly you since you have to get use to Mitchell's strange personality, but after that he's very easy to like-." I wasn't lying, I couldn't to someone on their deathbed, I pull out the photo of my birth mum and I from my back pocket "this is my birth mum." I tell Julia as I show her the picture even though she couldn't see it cause her eyes were closed.

I turn the photo back around to face me "I didn't know her, I didn't even get to meet her, but I got to meet you and I'm glad, because if you hadn't of come I wouldn't have gotten to know Mitchell and I wouldn't of gotten to know you for the kindhearted woman you are." I say with a sniff as I put my chin on her bed, still holding her hand "I'll miss you Julia." I finish with a croak.

And that broke the barrier. I couldn't hold it in, I just allowed the tears to flow, no one was around, so no one could hear me or see me in such a state. Well that's what I thought, soon after allowing the tears to fall freely, I feel someone place their hand on my shoulder in comfort, but it isn't Mitchell, I didn't know how I knew that, but I just knew that it wasn't him.

I lift my head up and turn to see who it is and who it is was not who I expected it to be. My eyebrows narrow in confusion and questioning. He's here, I know how because I told him I've been coming to the hospital for awhile, but I'm confused as to why because he's never wanted to come with me before. Not that I didn't mind, I didn't want the Preston's to be surrounded by lots of people.

"Luke?." I ask "why are you here?."

"I want to talk to you." He answers and that reply gives me a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.