rumour has it | ✓ [ old version ]

xxxvi. your feelings matter too

CHAPTER THIRTY SIX

———————————

Using the fork in my hand, I move the food around on my plate; not feeling up to eating anything. Across from me sits my dad, him having no trouble eating the food on his plate, it was his idea. Having dinner together, so that way we can communicate without anything getting in the way and honestly, I'm all up for it. Well, that was before finding out about Julia and her cancer, dad knows about it since I go to the hospital everyday after school and so does Luke. But he doesn't know how badly it's effecting me.

"You okay honey?." Dad asks, looking up from his plate.

I sigh "I'm just worried about Mitchell." I tell him honestly.

"Not to be rude sweetheart, but I asked about you, not Mitchell." Dad informs me.

"I-." I begin "I thought that when not seeing my own birth mother die that I wouldn't have to see anyone go through that and watch someone I love die and now, I am. I don't want to watch Julia die, I don't want her to go dad." I finish and he looks at me with sad eyes.

"Why don't you tell her that?. He suggests and I raise my eyebrows, wondering as to who he's referring to.

"Do you mean Julia?." I ask and he nods his head "she won't hear what I have to say besides I don't want to risk Mitchell hearing and then he'll have to deal with another person who's all emotional. I want to be there for him and his family." I tell him.

"And that's sweet of you, but honey your feelings matter too." He says.

I sigh again "I know, but not at the moment." I explain.

That's the end of the conversation. We leave it at that neither of us having nothing else to say to the other. Should I talk to Julia in her coma state? I mean maybe it'd bring me a sense of comfort and a bit of strength to be able to care and comfort the people she loves and who love her in return.

What if she dies, I'll probably regret not talking to her even if she can't reply and that will be stuck with me forever.

"Do you think there's any chance that she'll make it through this?." I ask dad, needing his opinion.

"I don't know Faye, as you said it's worse then before, so maybe there's a small possibility, but don't get your hopes up-." He begins "cause that'll hurt you more." He finishes and I nod my head, agreeing with him. Maybe I should talk to Julia, get everything I'm feeling out and then that way when she dies, I won't be dealing with regret for the rest of my life and who knows? Maybe she'll hear what I have to say and decide to fight even harder then before and make it though.

"Thanks." I tell him before standing up from the table "may I be excused?." I ask and he nods his head with a sigh. Without putting my dish away and my food in the bin, I immediately walk out of the dinning room and up the stairs to my room where I grab my phone and remove the photo of my birth mother and I from the clear case.

I look into her brown eyes which are the same ones I have "I wonder what you would say to me if you were here." I whisper.

"Your feelings matter too."

———————————

Sorry for the short chapter, it's suppose to be just filter! If you're enjoying the story, let me know and continue to enjoy the rest of the story!

Love, Taylor