Hillary's POV
Yeah I know, some of you hates me. Me too, I... I hate myself for letting that happened. I hate myself for being stubborn.
Sila na ang itinuring kong pamilya simula nung namatay si mama dahil sa leukemia at iniwan akong mag-isa ng magaling ko ama, kahit na kinuha ako ng grandparents ko, sila Gabriella at Robbie na ang naging pamilya ko.
I remembered, 7 years old lang ako nun when papa left me alone at home, sleeping. Nang magising ako kinaumagahan siyempre hinanap ko siya and I found out, iniwan na pala ako. He's clothes wasn't in his cabinet. He didn't even left a letter nor money for me. He just left me there with nothing, only the house. I cried all day kasi syempre bata lang ako and to think that ako lang mag-isa sa bahay. I cried and cried and cried until one day I said to myself, I need to live. Kailangan kong mabuhay para sa sarili ko.
I work at the very young age. Ang dami kong karanasan nun when there was this old hag man says that he is my grandfather --my decease mother's father. Kinupkop nila ako ng lola ko, sila ang nag-alaga sakin at nagpaaral sakin. Hanggang sa nakilala ko si Robbie at naging magbestfriend kami. And there comes Gabriella.
See how clichè my love story was? I wanna burst out into laughter and just kill myself for killing him in his own day. Hindi niyo lang alam kung ano ang pinagdaanan ko dahil sa ginawa ko. I get in jail for 2 years pero habang nasa kulungan ako hindi mawaglit sa isipan ko ang nangyari. It hunts me. Gabi-gabi ko yung napapanaginipan and all I can do is to say sorry and cry.
Nang makalaya ako pinuntahan ko si Ate Aileigh para humingi ng sorry pero nakatanggap lang ako ng isang malutong na sampal. I deserved that slap, dahil kundi sakin hindi sana nawala si Robbie.
After Ate Aileigh slap me there was a long silence between us and all you can hear on her house is sobs. Our sobs.
"Seeing you here right now? I'm so disgusted with you. You don't know how hard it is for us Hillary. You killed my brother. You killed him. And you are One. Devil. Killer. Hillary." every words she says makes me feel that someone is stubbing me behind. Masakit, oo masakit. Pero totoo lahat. Ako ang may kasalanan. Ako ang killer.
"I-Im sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry..." paulit-ulit kong sinasabi habang umiiyak. Habang nakatungo at unti-unting lumuluhod sa harap niya. And this is my first time kneeling down. "I'm sorry.. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.. I regret what I did. I do regret it. I'm sorry." patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak habang nakaluhod at humihingi ng tawad and it lasted for 8 minutes I think. 8 minutes na nakaluhod lang ako at nakatayo si Ate so I decided to get up. "Alam ko pong mahirap, pero sana magawa niyo parin akong patawarin." i said while sobbing and turn my back to walk away.
Alam kong hindi pa nila ako mapapatawad pero maghihintay ako. Kahit matagal, I'll wait for them to forgive me.
Nasa bukana na ako ng pintuan ng maramdaman ko na may yumakap sakin sa likod at narinig ang mahinang hikbi.
"Nakakainis ka! Aalis ka nalang ng hindi mo hinihintay ang sasabihin ko? Come on Hillary! Don't be so childish~!" umiiyak na sabi ni Ate. Napatakip ako sa bibig ko dahil sa sinabi niya at muling umagos ang luha ko. Humarap ako sakanya at nakitang nakangiti na ito.
"Kilala mo naman ako diba? Madali akong magpatawad at alam kong hindi mo yun sinasadya. Sorry kung masyado akong naging harsh, it's just that I can't stop for what I feel awhile ago." sabi ni ate habang sisinghot-singhot. "But still, I hate you." sa sinabi niyang yun napayuko nalang ako. Ako din naman, I hate myself.
"Oh come on, Hillary. Just give me a hug!" at bigla ulit akong niyakap ni Ate. Hindi ko mapigilang hindi mapangiti. Does it mean napatawad na niya ako? Yes right? Napatawad na ako ni ate?
