Maybe this time [Completed]

Chapter 36

"I love you."

He said softly while he was driving me back home. At first I thought I imagined it so I did not say anything.

Then he quickly reached out his right hand to squeeze mine and said it again, louder this time.

My heart was doing somersaults but I reminded myself to be patient.

Don't rush. Don't rush. Don't rush.

"I love you," he repeated.

"Paul..." I sighed in frustration. "We talked about this..."

"What? I only agreed to give you time to do whatever it is you have to do. I didn't say I would hold back from telling you how I feel."

I groaned. I should have known he wasn't going to make this easy.

"I love you."

"I know."

"I love you."

"Are you going to be doing this every five minutes until I say yes?"

"Probably," he retorted, laughing.

"Come on, Paul. How am I supposed to think clearly if you're going to be like this?"

"Elisse," his voice turned serious. "I need this, too. I've held it in for so long, and now that I can say it, I'm going to say it as often as I feel like it."

I have no answer to that, but the pressure was getting to me.

"Look," he continued softly. "I'm not doing this to force your hand. I'm doing this for myself, because it feels good to finally be able to tell you that I love you. You can ignore me if you like, I don't mind."

"I feel pressured, though," I admitted.

"No, don't be. How about this, let's just say I'm calling in a favor."

"What do you mean?"

"Did you forget? You owe me a favor. For watching that awful movie with you, that congeniality something."

I had forgotten about that.

"Oh my god, that was ages ago! You still remember that?"

I stared at him, dumbfounded, and he just winked at me.

"Sweetheart, I remember everything about you."

Damn it. This guy is good, I can never win an argument with him.

"So, I'm calling in that favor, alright? You can't say no," he pressed on.

"What's the favor, exactly?"

"That you can't stop me from telling you how I feel," he said smugly.

I sighed, exasperated, but decided to let him have his way. I liked hearing him say it, anyway.

"Fine."

"I love you."

"Okay."

"I love you."

"Thank you."

"I love you."

I just rolled my eyes and turned around in my seat so I can look at him properly.

He was smiling to himself, then soon started singing along with the song on the radio, looking like he was having the best time of his life.

His happiness was infectious, and I found myself singing along with him, not minding the traffic, as if it were our normal daily routine.

This was just a glimpse of what a future with him would be like. And it was not bad, not bad at all.

Because this is what I really wanted all along. Just normal daily activities, simply spending time with the person I loved.

I never did like all the glitz and glamour that was part of Ray's life. We were always on the spotlight, even when we try not to be. Because his face was on the news every single day, it was hard not to recognize him on the street.

And he soaked it all in. Ray thrived being the center of attention, but it felt like prison to me. I couldn't do anything without everybody knowing about it the next day.

I was actually so surprised we were able to keep the divorce a secret for as long as we did.

Ray could never understand why I felt that way. To him, all the attention meant he was doing a great job, while I felt like a show animal in a zoo.

But Paul... He just gets me. And after today, I realize that in some ways, he understands me even better than I understand myself. He sees my inner world and is okay with it, even finds it attractive.

I must have done something good in my past life to deserve having someone who loves all of me, quirks and all.

I tried to imagine the two of us growing old together, me with my inner world and him trying to barge his way in using his unique charm.

And I found myself looking forward to those days.

I need to talk to Ray soon. Out of respect for our marriage and for our shared past, I wanted to get his blessing before I can really move on.

Then after that, I need to talk to our son.