Maybe this time [Completed]

Chapter 40

"Ray and I talked."

I texted Paul the next morning as soon as Lucas had left for school. He called right away.

"Are you okay?" I could hear the worry in his voice.

"Yes," I tried to assure him, but my voice trembled with emotion as I recalled Ray's words.

"Elisse, you don't sound okay. Do you want me to Come over?"

"No, I'm heading to the office in a while. Are you free today? Can we meet for dinner?"

"I don't think I can wait until then... The suspense is killing me. How about this - is that coffee shop stil open? The one in front of the office?"

"Yeah... I still go there sometimes. The owner has changed, and they've updated the look, but it's still open."

"Let's meet there. I'll see you in an hour, okay?"

"Yup. See you."

I hung up and hurried outside, my mind filled with thoughts of the past twenty years. Paul had always been there, silently supporting me and lifting me up even when I didn't think I needed help.

And he had always been waiting. I don't want to make him wait any longer.

I wanted to be at the cafe first and watch him arrive, but he beat me to it. He was already at the table in the corner, cradling a mug in both hands.

He stood up as I approached the table and helped me take a seat across from him.

"What do you usually order here? I wanted to get you something while I was waiting, but the menu has changed," he told me sheepishly.

"Just a latte, you know I don't like to experiment with my coffee."

"Okay. Just a moment."

I watched him as he hurried to the cashier, a smile playing on my face as I imagined a thousand mornings like this.

It won't always be fun, I know that. And there may be fights, or disappointments, or times when we can't even stand each other's presence.

But I have confidence that we will get through them all, together, hand in hand. Because this is Paul. My Paul.

He was back in a few minutes, a mysterious smile on his face making me curious.

"What are you thinking about? You look weird," I teased him as I accepted the cup of coffee.

"I was just remembering the first time I saw you. It was in this same corner, and you had the same exact expression, like you knew a secret to life that the rest of us mortals could only dream of."

"What do you mean? Didn't we meet at the orientation?"

He shook his head, chuckling softly.

"I first saw you here, Kitty. You didn't notice me watching you because your mind was somewhere else. You looked like you were having happy thoughts, and I wanted in."

Oh.

"So those things you did at the orientation... That was intentional?"

He gave me a quick wink and smiled, showing off his dimple, and I was thrown back to the my first memory of him.

"You wouldn't look at me no matter what I did," he admitted. "That was the only way to make you notice my existence."

I lowered my head in embarassment.

"I'm sorry for being such a block head."

"Don't. Stop apologizing for who you are, Elisse. It's not a sin."

"Ray had always known," I told him softly, and Paul immediately knew I was talking about something else. "Ray knew about us years ago and he never said a word to me."

"Us? Or about me, how I felt about you? I guess I made it pretty obvious sometimes."

"Both," I explained. "He said I was different whenever you were here. I was different, and I didn't even notice."

He reached out and held my hand, squeezing it gently, quietly lending me his strength.

Then I told him about last night. I told him that Ray had given his blessings. That Lucas at least didn't hate the idea of me having someone else in my life. That I was free to love again.

When I stopped talking he remained quiet and for a moment I thought he had changed his mind and didn't want me anymore.

But I pushed the doubts away because I know Paul. He was not that kind of person.

"Paul? What's wrong?" I asked him tentatively.

"Elisse... I'm happy that Ray is okay with us being together, and I'm truly grateful. He's a hell of a great guy, and I'll make it up to him for the rest of my life. I'm relieved that Lucas is willing to get to know me, and I promise you I'll do everything in my power to get him to accept me."

He sighed heavily and stared deep into my eyes as he continued.

"But I have yet to hear what you think. That's the only thing that matters to me. Because frankly, even if Ray and Lucas objected, I would have found a way to change their minds. As long as you wanted me, too."

I smiled at the worry in his voice.

Oh Paul, can't you see the answer in my eyes? It's been there all along.

But I guess he needed to hear it. He deserved to.

I squeezed the hand that was holding mine and stared back, willing him to see all the feelings that I have for him. Only him. All this time.

"I do want you, Paul."

He let out his breath, smiling brightly, and I felt as if the rest of the cafe faded away. There was just the two of us, Paul and Elisse, and we had our own little world.

"I love you," I whispered and he grinned even wider

"I love you, too. Always have, always will."