Maybe this time [Completed]

Chapter 37

Lucas was sleeping on Ray's shoulder when they came back on Sunday night. I asked Ray to carry him straight to the bedroom because our son was too heavy for me to carry anymore.

Ray came back to the kitchen a few minutes later and sat down for a chat. I knew something was on his mind.

"How was your weekend?" He asked me casually while taking a sip of the orange juice that I handed to him.

"It was good. I met up with Paul yesterday, but I just stayed here today and did some cleaning."

I had not decided whether to talk to Ray today, I guess it depends on where this conversation would go.

"So how's Paul doing? Is he back for good?"

Should I have the talk now? This seems like a good opening.

"Well..." I hesitated, unsure how exactly to bring it up. "He mentioned that the station had invited him to stay at HQ but he hasn't accepted yet."

He nodded, as if that confirmed his theory.

"I had heard rumors they offered him the VP post last year but he turned them down. I guessed when I saw him the other day that they're still trying to convince him to change his mind."

"Yeah, he mentioned something like that," I agreed, gauging his reaction. "Are you disappointed?"

"About them offering the post to him? Not really. I'm not interested in working behind the scenes, especially a desk job. It's all headache without the rewards."

I could see where he was coming from. Ray always shone when he's in the spotlight, it's when he's in his best condition.

I still remember the first time I saw him live in the studio all those years ago. He was a rookie like me, but people were starting to talk about him as the rising star of the network. It got me curious, so I made it a point to see watch him in action.

It was mesmerizing, the way he transformed, like a different persona had taken over him the moment the camera turned on.

I had a chance to have a brief chat with him before they were on air, being a batchmate and all. He was nice and I found him cute, but found nothing special in him, and I didn't see what all the fuss was about.

Then the green light on the cameras turned on, signaling they were live, and I immediately understood.

Ray was literally shining - his smile was wider, his eyes were brighter, even his shoulders looked broader. He spoke with an air of confidence, as if nothing could faze him. He had complete control of the stage, you really can't take your eyes off him.

I was hooked.

So I was thrilled when he started looking for me in our department. I felt like a schoolgirl who found out that my crush liked me back, and was overwhelmed with all the attention that came with it.

Suddenly, everyone in the office knew my name, too, because it was always connected to his in their conversations about Ray.

The attention made me feel good at first, like I was welcomed and people enjoyed my company.

But I was just an appendix to the interesting book that was Ray, though I didn't realize it at the time.

"Elisse?" Ray's voice broke through my thoughts and I turned to see him looking at me curiously.

"Sorry, I just remembered something."

He smiled as if to himself.

"I used to think you found me boring everytime you'd go off somewhere like that," he admitted.

"How about now? Do you still think so?"

"I got used to it eventually," he shrugged. "It doesn't bother me anymore."

"Sorry," I apologized again. "I don't even notice that I'm doing it sometimes. It just happens."

"I know."

"Ray..." I hesitated, but he gave me a quick nod, encouraging me to continue. "Did I make you feel bad, back then?"

He took a moment before replying. "Sometimes," he eventually admitted. "And I know I had hurt you too, even if I didn't mean to."

I sighed. I messed up my relationships pretty badly.

"We weren't right for each other," I agreed softly. "But we're good now, right?"

He nodded slowly, then stared deep into my eyes.

"What is it that you really want to tell me, Elisse?"

I was surprised by the direct question and struggled to the right words to tell him, to make him understand in a way that won't hurt his pride.

The silence stretched until he finally spoke again.

"Is this about Paul?"