RIGID || TaeJin ☑️

Part 49

"Mr. Kim? Mr. Kim?"

"Jin?" I saw Jin beside me in a car. I'm driving. Him on the passenger seat, smiling at me.

As I look back in front, something bumped on the back of my car.

A loud screech from the tire.

I saw bright lights from afar.

Then my car flipped.

"Mr. Kim?"

I jerked.

"I'm sorry to wake you up. We will land in an hour. Maybe you wanted to take a shower first?" Jin looks a little blurry when I opened my eyes.

My nightmare is my weakness. It makes my body stiff. I clenched my hands on a fist. I closed my eyes as I breathe in and out. My heart still thumping faster and my knees felt numb.

I was told that I had an accident four years ago and it caused me to forgot some parts of my life. Parts that, the doctor said, I won't be able to remember again. Maybe some, but not all and not complete.

I can't remember that my father died. I can't even remember that I already have a daughter. All I know is that Heegi was pregnant.

I remember screaming Heegi's name, frantically looking for her when I finally recovered from coma as I am in a daze for days. I am crazy looking for Heegi. Jungkook said Heegi was gone. How can it be? She's pregnant and about to give birth soon. But when I woke up, my daughter was already 6 years old.

Information that made me so confused.

Because all I can remember was my life before that. I got so frustrated as I keep on asking things, Jungkook said, were all from my past. I never listened to him.

I think my friendship with Jungkook got tainted as well. He says things that I can't grasp. I always shut him down. Never listening to what he wants to say. If I am not confined in a wheelchair that time, I think am already dead by now.

I remember threatening Jungkook that I will cut my wrist with a knife if he will not bring Heegi to me. He brought Heegi after some weeks. With a little girl in tow.

Jungkook and I never talk since then. Only about work. He said that he can't stand seeing me live in lies. I never question him. I never listened. I don't know but I really do feel that he wants to take control of my life. He wants me to be in life that I never knew. Trying hard for me to remember things that I can't. All I want is the life I know. The life that I can remember.

The doctor said not to feed me information and memories that I cannot comprehend or remember as my brain is not ready to take them all. It will only make me confused and disorganized. And to only talk to me about it when I'm ready to accept information.

I am so frustrated, harsh, wild and suicidal because all I want are not with me. My dad and Heegi. Me being confined in a wheelchair, not being able to move freely added more to that. I went through psychological therapy for a while to help me cope up.

Sooner, I can feel that there's something wrong and I can't figure it out until now. It's not easy because I myself feels so incomplete. Maybe that feeling of incompleteness is also the reason why I can't make love with my girlfriend.

Now that I am prepared to listen to information that I cannot remember, I am too ashamed to ask Jungkook. Wishing our old friendship will be back soon.

It may sound weird, but although my nightmare is always making me terrified, i still hang on to it. I don't want to lose it. Because that nightmare is the ONLY most recent memory of my life. That short and faint memory of my accident.

In my nightmares before, the man beside me is blurred. But today was different, he already has a face. And it's Jin.

Maybe I stared too much on his face last night while he sleeps as I already dreamt about him.

"Mr. Kim?"

My body usually takes a minute or two before it comes back to its senses. That happens everytime I have that nightmare.

"Mr. Kim? Are you okay? You look pale." Jin asked trying to meet my eyes.

I blinked. "Yes, I'm sorry about that. Thank you for waking me up. I'll just go and take a shower."

As soon as the plane touched down, Jin keeps on glancing at me. Maybe trying to look if I'm okay. The shower made me feel a lot better.

A man approached us at the tarmac. I showed him my passport and driver's licence and he handed me the car key. I always rent a car for my stay in different countries. For convenience.

As soon as we loaded our luggages on the trunk. "Let's go." I went in the driver's seat waiting for Jin to come in.

I sigh. He looks like a statue on the passenger door and by the looks of it, he doesn't have plans of coming in. I went out of the car.

"Jin? Let's go now." I said.

He's still standing there staring at the passenger door. Looking terrified?

I rolled my eyes as I walk towards to where he is standing. I stared to where he is staring. I can only see our image on the car window. What's keeping him occupied?

I nudge his arm with my elbow.

"Jin!" I called, with a louder voice.

He startled. I opened the car door for him. But he still did not get in.

"Jin, you're wasting my time. Do you want me to leave you here and take a cab instead? My time is important. And I'm crazy hungry."

"Y-you're going to drive Mr. Kim?" He asked anxiously.

"Yes. What kind of question is that?" I'm starting to get annoyed. He still did not move. "JIN!! WHAT?! GET IN OR I WILL LEAVE YOU?!" I can't help it.

"I-i'm sorry." He said as he went in the car. Finally.

He looks stiff as we drive to the hotel. He looks very nervous. He keeps on playing with the feet of his teddy bear.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you." I said.

He looked at me and smiled. "It's okay Mr. Kim. I'm sorry too for being hard headed."

"What's wrong? You don't trust me driving?" I asked still looking at the road.

"It's not that Mr. Kim. It's just that..."

He paused for a while.

"What Jin? Is there a problem?" I asked curiously.

"I-i'm just scared of riding a car. Sorry." He said. He looks ashamed.

"Really? Why?" Fear of riding a car? How come?

"Uh.."

"It's okay Jin. Tell me so I would know how to drive according to your preference. I would like to remind you that I will drive going to most of our events. So better tell me so I will not scare you. I am a fast driver." I smiled.

He still look hesitant. "I...I.. i've been in a car accident four years ago Mr. Kim. And it gave me fears riding in a car."

I looked at him. I've been in a car accident too four years ago. What a coincidence.