Summer |N.J|

• 18 •

The dreadful day has come where I leave. I turned off my alarm before cuddling back to Jaemin. I was already sad I didn't want to leave.

"You're going to miss your flight if you fall back asleep, " Jaemin said caressing my arm.

"I don't want to leave, " I sighed looking up at him.

"I know I don't want you to leave either, " He kissed my forehead before hugging me. After a few seconds, I pulled away getting up. Only a few of them are coming with me to the airport. Johnny, Mark, Taeyong, Jungwoo, Chenle, Jeno, and Jaemin obviously, wanted to drop me off.

I went and got dressed, I put on black leggings with Jaemin's hoodie. He wanted me to take it. I put on my black Nike shoes. I walked out of the bathroom to meet sleepy Jisung.

"You're leaving already, " He said sadly wiping the sleepiness from his eyes.

"Yeah sadly, " I said, and he took me by surprise by pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back I still can't get that I'm older than him but it might be because he is way taller than me.

"You have to come to our concerts so you can visit us, " He said looking at me and pulling away from the hug.

"When I can I will definitely, " I smiled.

"I get a hug too, " Chenle said and I laughed and went and hug him.

"You guys keep this up your going to make me cry, " I said pulling away from the hug.

"We are going to miss having you around, " Renjun admits he was leaning on his bedroom door frame.

"Can we not be sad I will come back to visit I promise, " I promised them.

"Who's going to be my dance partner till then, " Jisung points out.

"And my girl best friend, " Chenle adds on.

"And my English teacher, " Haechan said entering the conversation.

"My Moomin partner, " Renjun points out. At this point, my eyes were watering.

"My little sister, " Jeno also said.

"Ok group hug," I called out and they all squished me into a hug.

...

I got in the van along with the guys that are coming with me. I sat in the middle of Jaemin and Taeyong. I leaned on Jaemin's shoulder holding his hand as he leans his head on mine. As we drove off the boys played music so it wasn't so sad. Sometimes I could feel John looking at Jaemin and me.

Now we got to the airport and since this wasn't in their schedule there won't be any paparazzi well there shouldn't be any. We all still wore our masks. John had my bags with the help of Taeyong. We got in front of my gates and a man took us to the private plane that SM kindly offered. We got in front of the plane and I turned to the boys. I hugged my brother first.

"Hug mom and dad for me, " He told me.

"I will, " I said stepping away from the hug. Then before I could choose who to hug Jungwoo hugged me.

"Next time I'll get Taeyong to adopt you, " He said making me laugh. "Take care and don't forget to eat, " He said pulling away.

"I won't, " I smiled. Then I hugged Taeyong. "I hug my mom for you, you're her favorite, " I told him making him laugh. Then I hugged Chenle and Jeno.

"I'm going to miss you guys, " I said pulling away from Jeno.

"You're invited to any of our concerts will see each other again don't worry" Jeno reassured me and I nod.

"Can you give us a moment, " Jaemin told the boys they nod and John gave me one more hug before walking away. "My everything," He told me and I looked at him confused. "Earlier when the boys were telling you what you were to them, " He said and I smiled hugging him. It already hurts.

"I'm going to miss you, " I said holding my tears back from what I'm about to do.

"I'm going to miss you too, " He told me. Then I pulled away grabbing his hand.

"Jea-

But before I could say anything he kissed me. In the middle of the kiss, I started crying. He pulled away and hugged me.

"It's going to be ok, I'll face time you whenever I get the chance and-

"It's not that Jaemin, " I cut him off.

"What is it?" He looked at me confused.

"We can't be together, " I said wiping my tears away.

"Why not we are now, " He grabbed my hand.

"We live in two different worlds, you're going to be too busy, I live in a whole other country, and we are not going to work, " I look down not wanting to see his heartbreak.

"We can try, " He insisted.

"No Jaemin we are just going to hurt each other more if we keep going than if we just break up right now, " I'm really trying not to cry. He didn't say a word I was about to walk away but he grabbed my arm.

"I love you, " He looked straight into my eyes. My heart broke right there and then no matter how much I wanted to say it back I knew John was right.

"Bye Jaemin, " I placed my hand on his cheek giving him one last kiss before walking away. Leaving him standing there I didn't want to turn around I knew if I did I would cry. I got on the plane without looking back. Once I sat down and looked out the window and the boys weren't there anymore I broke down crying. I know I hurt him but I also hurt myself.