the night of june 2nd // sanders sides ✔

22 : filling in some holes

*TW: Toxic family setting*

"He was difficult, definitely. We didn't like each other when we went to school together. But he was always on top. He was passionate, and he never just liked something. He either had to love it or despise it, but he grew out of that later on. Oh, just thinking about him is so... One year, he signed up to make props instead of auditioning, but the lead girl got sick the night of the show. Backstage, while making props and designing costumes, he also learned all her lines, lyrics, and choreography, and went on for her. He was incredible. I didn't let him know that enough."

"I never really had a lot of friends, so when someone like Roman talked to me and treated me like a normal person? It was just refreshing. He can get annoying, but he's always so honest and so many amazing memories came from our friendship. He just helped me through some... rough times. I wish I appreciated him more. Love is a really hard thing for me to show, and I wish I'd done something bigger before he died. He was always surprising all of us, especially Logan, with gifts and cute platonic dates. He always knew how to make us feel better, which I didn't give him enough credit for."

"At one point was terrible to me and brought out the worst in me, but he also saved my life and completely reversed everything, and I really respect that. My religion in relation to my sexuality scared me, and I mean, it still does, but he taught me to love myself because I can't pray the gay away, no matter how hard I try. When we were friends, our bond was unbreakable and I could just go to him for everything. I wanted to be just like him because he was unbreakable. Creative, fun, tough. He was everything I'll never be, but he inspired me a lot."

"He was always a piece of shit to me. Maybe it's because of our parents, though. Maybe if it wasn't for them, we would have been chill, normal twins. He just always had to be the best. He loved books and movies and wouldn't ever shut up about musicals. He has the most energy out of anyone ever. Nobody can top that. Not much else to say. Oh, yeah. Also, his ego was through the roof. Anyone could tell you that."

♚

They were just kids then.

"Remus, why can't you be more like your brother?" their mother scolded him. "Get some friends, please! Having friends is good for you."

Remus couldn't just make friends. He couldn't tell her he recently started getting relentlessly bullied by his sixth grade peers and he didn't know who to trust anymore.

"Plus, your grades are slipping. It's like you don't try. Roman is always working hard, what about you?"

But Remus did try. His best just wasn't good enough. "It's not like Roman has perfect grades," he muttered.

"He has an A minus average, while yours is a B minus. You can improve, just stop being so lazy, alright?"

But both their parents became more hostile in seventh and eighth grade when Roman and Remus were teens.

"ROMAN!"

Roman rushed over by his father's call. "Yeah, Dad?"

"Help Remus with his math homework. He's in the lowest level, and he's still having a hard time. Oh, and Mikayla invited you to her birthday party, I just got the letter from her parents."

"Cool!" Roman had a crush on Mikayla. Well, as close to a crush on a girl a gay kid could get.

Following his father's instruction, he sat down next to his twin. Roman wasn't the strongest at math, but he was definitely doing well for the most part then. He examined Remus' work. "Oh, you have to flip the symbol."