the night of june 2nd // sanders sides ✔

28 : organizing the classroom

(A/N: that feeling when you want to fill the book with cute logince but roman is dead)

*TW: Mentions of vomiting?*

While Remus was driving to his parents' home, Logan gave Patton a ride to the school Logan taught at and began unpacking and organizing.

It was still hard for Patton to make eye contact with Logan.

Logan began by organizing his desk while Patton used colored paper to code the edges of different large white boards on the walls. Then transferred animal skeleton and cell models from his old classroom.

Taking a break, he sighed and looked into a near empty box.

"You good?" Patton asked and sat next to him.

"This job, is just. Ugh. I enjoy teaching and science, and working with kids is a great experience sometimes, but they can be so tiring. Every year, there is at least one seventh grade girl I teach who tries to get with me, and is somehow surprised when I reject her and give her detention and a lecture on why she shouldn't fall into the harmful side of a power dynamic. In my most recent year, it was this girl named Lia Schwartz. But every year, I tell Roman about it and he would make me feel better. We'd get hot chocolate and he'd help me through the stress. And the thoughts. The thoughts that are saying... this is my life. This will stay my life, and I don't know if it's enough to satisfy me."

The last thing in the box he was holding was bubble wrap, which he formed into a ball and threw across the room into the trash.

And it was empty. And light. And he didn't need the box anymore, so he put it in the dark, empty storage closet.

"You don't have to stay at this job forever," Patton reassured him. "You can have more dreams."

"I don't have any dreams anymore. That's why I said I don't know. I don't know if I'm satisfied. I think I'll have to wait for this next school year to be over to figure it out."

"And you've got the rest of your life to do everything you want."

"No." Logan gripped the edge of the desk. "I don't think I'll be able to do some things I want." He gulped. "I don't need Roman to survive, but it feels like I do. It really does."

He contained himself and began sorting markers by color and making sure textbooks were perfectly aligned to calm down.

When he was sorting bins of cords, he asked, more to himself than to Patton, "How do I know I'll ever feel love for someone like that again?"

Patton's throat tightened. "Yeah."

"Sorry I keep talking about him around you." His eyes fluttered shut in annoyance with himself.

"It's fine." He gave him a side hug.

Logan's phone began to ring and he quickly picked up the call.

"Logan Decker speaking. Oh, hello? I'm working at the moment, but I'll be done in about an hour more. Why?" His face dropped and he shifted uncomfortably. "Oh. Oh, alright. Well, I'll be there in an hour and a half. Thank you. Okay, bye."

Concern crossed Patton's face. "What? What happened?"

"I can't believe it." His volume was barely over a whisper. "They think I framed Virgil. They think I killed Roman."

"Oh my gosh!" Patton gasped. "Did they tell you why? Will you be okay?"

"I'll be okay," Logan said back. There was edge and slight uncertainly, but he stood his ground. "They'll find out I didn't do it and I'll be fine."

"Why did they think it was you?"

"Virgil told them."

Patton had no words to spare. His mouth just hung open.

"Now I have no doubts. It was Virgil who did it, because he's lying!" Logan bit his lip. "I should have known! He said he saw Roman dead as he was driving by and called the police! That's the classic excuse, and Virgil just got away with it like that!"

When Patton diverted eye contact and looked lost in thought, Logan cocked his head. "What?"

Patton sucked in his cheeks. "I believe you. I don't think you did it, but- but I don't get it. Virgil was so sure whenever we talked about Roman together that it was Remus who killed Roman, so why would he pin it on you? You're one of his best friends!"

"He has the right to think it's me," Logan groaned. "Unfortunately. Since I know the code and Roman broke up with me the night he was killed..." He slumped down. "I wish this was just some fucked dream sequence. This isn't real. Virgil wouldn't do this to me."

"The next time Virgil calls me from the station, I'll bring it up," Patton said with finality. "I'm going to get answers, and everything is going to be-" He hesitated and swallowed back his thoughts. "Everything is going to be fine."

"Thank you." The teacher continued shoving empty boxes in the storage closet, this time not being as careful as he usually was. "After this, I don't think I want to speak to Virgil again. I'm not even really sure I can."

He squirmed and held his balance leaning against the wall, his chest rising and falling much too fast.

Patton went into panic mode. "Logan? What's wrong?!"

"I feel sick." He fanned his face. "I feel fucking sick!"

His friend hurried him into the nearest bathroom, which, thankfully, was close enough so Logan could puke into the toilet.

On the other side of the stall, Patton spoke softly and reassuringly. "We're gonna prove it's not you. I can call the detective back. I can tell them you're sick and you aren't well to meet up with them, if you want me to."

"No. I would much rather get it over with today."

"Okay. You can finish setting up another day. I'll drive you home as soon as you wash up and you're gonna take a nap before you meet with the detectives, m'kay?"

Logan started to say something but he began throwing up again.

When he was finished, he croaked out, "It's just so hard to try so hard all the time."

Placing a cold and wet paper towel on Logan's head, Patton cooed, "I know."