the night of june 2nd // sanders sides ✔

34 : keeping a distance

*TW: Discussion on eating disorder, alcohol abuse, and sexual harassment*

Virgil wiped his wet hair with his towel and got changed into his pajamas, then turned off the light.

The world seemed to spin around him.

Logan hated him.

He hated him.

And Patton was shot.

Sighing, he got into bed and closed his eyes to try to sleep, but sleep didn't come.

"Virgil."

His eyes shot open and he flicked on the light, screaming loudly.

"Hey! Calm down!"

It was Roman.

"Dude! What the fuck!" Virgil shouted. "You don't just do that shit! I thought you stopped!"

"We need to talk." Roman sat at the edge of Virgil's bed and patted the area next to him for Virgil to sit.

Virgil stared at him for a while but complied. "What?"

"Well, there are two things we need to talk about."

"Okay?"

Roman put a hand on Virgil's shoulder. "You're going to be okay. It seems like it won't right now, but things can always get better. Your life reshapes whenever something big happens, but Declan was right. You've got a life outside of this case."

Virgil hugged him and tried to steady his breathing. "I miss you so much."

"Me too, storm cloud. But your life is going to go on without me. I can visit you every now and again, though."

"What if I die? What if I die early and I get to be with you-"

"No, Virgil. Stop. It's okay. You have other people. Maybe not Logan right now, but that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. You're still in your 20's. You're too loyal, and that's a great thing, but it's terrifying. Just stay safe, okay?"

"I don't know if I can," Virgil whimpered. "I just feel so alone. I don't make new friends easily. What am I going to do the rest of my life?"

"You always said you like to put your sorrows into art. Do it. Grab your canvas and pour your heart out. I'll be right here with you."

"And you won't leave?"

"Not until I finish talking to you for tonight, and it's definitely not over yet." He went to the corner of the room and grabbed a medium sized blank canvas, propping it up on Virgil's stand.

Following instructions, Virgil prepared his oil paints and began a painting of a young boy with blood dripping from his mouth and neon green, blue, and purple hues blinding him.

It was rushed, as he painted for a few hours without a break. The anatomy was questionable but Virgil didn't care to sketch first or use a reference that night.

He just needed a distraction.

Roman stayed by his side the whole time.

When Virgil was finished, he looked at Roman, who was tearing up.

"Is that the sweater you used to wear all the time in high school?" Roman asked, smiling sadly. He pointed to the painting.

Virgil nodded.

It was a deep plum crew neck sweater that was too big for his frame.

"I love it."

"Thanks, Ro."