Bridge over troubled waters

2| Apple Core

Corey

Once Bailey gets settled in and set up in her apartment she insisted I showed her around the city. The agency she worked at gave her the option to come here, New York or LA and she insisted she came here. Of course I had a little say in it because I promised to take care of her once she's here, so that's what I was going to do. It's fairly easy to get lost here so I figured I should at least show her the main places so if she ever gets lost she can find her way back here and I can come save her. It's early September 2010 so there wasn't much going on with me right now in the sense of hockey. We were in training camp and it's just a bunch of workouts right now. I'm splitting the starter net with Turco and it looks like we would be the two goalies they will use for this season should we be healthy. This will be my first time actually starting the season in the bigs and while I loved being dominate in the AHL, I felt like I was finally ready to be a good goaltender in this league. 

And while that was important to me, I also wanted Bailey to feel welcomed here. This city can be cold, both physically and metaphorically, and I want her to like this place. The possibilities of good memories I can make with her are endless and I hope she sees that. Then who knows, maybe she'll decide to stay. Maybe she will feel like she's here for a reason. And maybe she will realize that reason is to be with me.

"This is insane" she nearly yells as we get to the giant metallic bean sitting in the middle of the city. Cloud gate was a big tourist attraction and while she has a work visa that makes her a citizen for a little, she was still a tourist at this point.

"Pretty cool, isn't it" I ask.

"It's amazing! I studied this in university but the pictures hardly do it any justice" she smiles as she touches the bean.

I stand there next to her but I don't look at the gigantic shiny bean sitting in the middle of the park. It was pretty but it didn't have anything on her. She was the most beautiful sight in the world and I kick myself in the ass because I don't tell her that every chance I have. Too afraid to mess up what we've had for well over a decade and a half now. We're going on 17 years of friendship and I'm scared to change after all this time.

"So how has the family been" I wonder as she continues her stare into the bean.

She grew up a few houses down from me and our families were close even before we were best friends. We spent the holidays together since we were in grade school and I played on some teams with her older brother Brady. We had always been close no matter what and I kinda missed my extended family. Just not as much as I missed her. "They've been pretty good. Mom just retired from teaching and dad is about to retire too. He doesn't want to move on from working on cars but he does want to spend more time with mom now that we're all out of the house.

Brady is in Toronto working as a bank teller. He claims he loves it but that guy doesn't drink enough to enjoy doing that for the rest of his life. But he's still with his girlfriend and they're living their best life in the city. No news on a kid yet but my parents are going to lose it if they don't get a grandkid some time soon.

Then of course there's Bennett who is at university right now. He has a few more years there but he's going to be a pediatric doctor if everything works out the way he hopes. He wants to work with kids and he is going to be great, just don't know if he will ever get married with how stubborn he is and a job like that" she laughs.

"And what about you" I ask. She turns from the bean to me as she tries to read me. "How have you been?"

"I've been pretty good, nothing much to complain about. I love my job more than most everyone loves theirs and I just got to come to one of the coolest cities in America to work here. I live right next to my best friend in this whole world and I get to make some amazing memories with him. I'm living the dream" she claims.

The thing about her is that she thinks she has to put on this front that everything is great, but for me she doesn't. With me she can be truthful, even if the truth hurts.

"And how are you really" I ask as her smile falls into a sad one. She looks down as she starts to fidget with her fingers. A long sigh passes her lips and I can tell there's more to this.

"This is just all kinda crazy, I guess. I've never been this far from home for this long. You know me, always making a mess of things without knowing it before it's too late. To move here and be away from everything I knew so well terrifies me. It wasn't that hard of a decision, they gave me my options and asked me where I wanted to go and I said here so I could be with you. And now I moved and I'm a little nervous about being on my own and making mistakes I can't take back. There's always that voice in my head asking every three seconds "Is this really what you want? Is this the best decision? Are you here for work or just running away because you don't know how to handle your problems?"  I know I shouldn't think like that but it's hard not to after all this time.

But at the same time I feel like I need to be here, I don't know why but I do. It doesn't make any sense, to belong here when I had so much going fro me back home. Something about being here... with you... it feels right. I just think leaving the way I did makes it hard for me" she shrugs.

"What happened" I question ready to kill whatever it is with fire.

"There was a lot of people who thought me coming here was a bad idea. My parents wanted me to come and they knew that you would never let anything happen to me. They encouraged me to spread my wings and use my talents for good. But they still aren't sure about this place and all the stuff comes with it. We've been some crazy places with you for hockey but this is nothing like anything I've ever known. They won't know everything that happens in this city like they do in our small town. I kinda just on whim decided to come live in the states for a year without giving much thought to it. A typical Bailey move to not think this through. I moved back his eyes after university was done then moved out here, it's kinda crazy. My parents wanted me to come here out of all places because this place has you and you wouldn't let anything hurt me. But they still worry. And Mark..." the trails off.

Mark was her boyfriend and honestly he was a good friend of mine. One of my best friends while in high school. We all went to high school together and they both ended up going to college together too. That's when they started dating and I started getting distant. They've been together for five years and I for sure thought he would have proposed by now. But for some reason he hasn't. Not sure why because I would be doing everything to make sure she's mine forever. But maybe they talked and they aren't ready, I don't know.

"What did he say" I wonder as I ball up my fist at my sides.

"Nothing too bad. He just didn't want me to leave him. He said I should have stayed and we could get a apartment together and we could start our lives together. And I wanted to, I really did. But it's not every day I have a chance like this. I know I'm meant to be here, it just sucks he can't be too" she admits.

"Why can't he" I wonder.

"His job won't let him transfer here. He tried but they told him no. And since he couldn't come he just expected me to stay too" she shrugs.

"This is your life Bai. If you feel like you're meant to be here, then be here. Don't let this keep you down. You have the most amazing smile and it's a shame of this city doesn't get to experience it" I insist.

She finally looks up to me as she gives me a real smile. "Thanks Apple Core" she says using my nickname. "I'm glad I'm here."

"Any time Bails."