Bridge over troubled waters

38| Old Friend

Bailey

Corey leaves for a few days to start off the first round of the playoffs. He was in the motherland while I stayed here to figure out what to do with some of the paintings I had done. Right now photography was more of a sure thing due to a chance to take pictures for the Blackhawks I've had come up recently. They pay really well and I was going to the game anyway so I might as well get paid to do so. So for the postseason I got to take pictures for them and things were picking up with painting again. I had a few people from around here asking for my stuff and wanting to see what I was up to. It looked like I was finally back on track to going to where I'm supposed to be.

My phone starts to ring from the stand I have in my art studio so I turn the music off to answer it. I look at it and see Marks face and name going across the screen and I stop. I haven't talked to him since our last phone call before he sent that email. I figured I would never hear from him again, but I guess I was wrong.

I go to grab my phone but as soon as I try to answer it the call ends. I let out a sigh because maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe he did it by mistake.

Then I hear it go off again and see his id pop up. This time I actually answer it then realize I don't know what to say when I do. I pull the phone up to my ear and I don't say anything. "Hello? Bai" he asks.

I let out a long sigh as I close my eyes. I missed his voice. "Hey Mark" I say.

"I thought maybe you didn't want to hear from me" he starts.

"That's not it. I'm in my studio and wasn't close to my phone the first time you called" I explain.

The line falls silent before he talks again. "Gotcha. So... how are you" he wonders.

"You break up with me over email then don't talk to me for two months and this is how you start a conversation with me" I ask.

He lets out a nervous laugh as he sighs. I can always tell when he's at a loss for words and this is it. "I don't know where to start, honestly. I've dialed your number a million times and never got the courage to press call. Part of me hoped you wouldn't answer so I wouldn't have to figure out what to say" he admits.

"Why did you call" I ask not in the mood to play these games.

"I missed you..." he trails off. I close my eyes trying not to get caught up in this again. I was finally over him and then he goes and pulls this.

"What do you mean by that" I wonder.

"I don't know. I miss your voice. I miss your face. I miss the food you made. I miss the love we made" he lists off.

"You broke up with me" I remind him.

"I know... I know" he sighs.

"Are you saying that you didn't want to break up" I question.

"I never wanted to break up with you" he argues.

"But you did" I say.

"I didn't like it. It's just... I couldn't be what you want me to be" he claims.

"You're everything I ever wanted Mark" I assure him.

"Not what you needed though" he corrects me.

I run my fingers through my hair and I lean against the wall. My eyes stay shut because I promised this boy wasn't going to make me cry ever again. "I just wanted to see how you were doing. Make sure you're okay" he claims.

"I'm fine Mark, no thanks to you" I assure him.

"And how's Corey" he asks.

"He's Good too. He's in Vancouver right now playing against the Canucks" I say.

"And are you two... you know" he asks.

"Are you trying to find out if Corey and I are together" I ask.

"I wanted to know how you were doing and that's part of it" he explains.

"No... we're not together. We're still going strong, still best friends. That's all" I assure him. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"No" he says monotoned and I stop. "I wanted to hear that you two stopped fighting this thing and you got together. I wanted to hear that with me out of the picture you finally could see Corey in the way you're supposed to. I wanted you to realized that you weren't in Chicago for work. You could have worked anywhere in this world but you went to Chicago. And you went there for a reason. I wanted to hear that you found your reason" he claims.

I feel my lip start to quiver as the tears build up. And not because of Mark but because of Corey. "I can't be with him" I sniffle

"Bailey, you've created amazing things. Beautiful things other people can't fathom. And I know you think that things with Corey could go wrong but they could go right too. You can make that relationship into whatever you want it to be. Part of me thinks you know that and you're scared to admit it. Scared to know what could happen" he accuses.

"I love him" I tell Mark.

"I know Bailey. I always knew even if you didn't. But you shouldn't be telling me this" he says.

"I can't tell him. I can't look into his eyes and know that he's given me his best 18 years of his life and ask for all the rest of them too" I insist.

"He wants you the same way you want him. And until you can tell him that you're going to be stuck" he says.

"I can't lose him" I defend.

"You can't lose him Bai. You can never lose him" he says.

"But I lost you" I say softly.

"I was never meant to be yours. We were meant to be together, yes. But I wasn't meant to stay. Not for 18 years and not for forever. I figured that out and you need to face it too now" he says.

I just sit there as the tears hit me face. I could deny it and Corey could deny it but I couldn't deny Mark from it.

"I didn't call to make you cry Bai. I just wanted to see if you were doing good and hope we could be friends again one day" he claims.

"I was doing fine until you made me cry" I tease and he laughs.

"Do you think we can be friends again" he wonders. 

"Of course Mark. We can be friends" I promise him.

"Alright. Then from a friend to a friend can you please get together with Corey. Please" he begs.

"I'll see what I can do" I smirk.