Bridge over troubled waters

5| Don't Know What I'd Do Without You

Corey

Now that Bailey is settled in and starting to work I don't feel so bad for leaving her in the city by herself. I'm hoping to get her around some of the guys' girlfriends and she can start making some friends so even when I'm gone she can have someone to hang out with. She hates being alone, not sure why but she never liked it. Even when we were kids. And while she's her own women I know she has her struggles and I want her to be happy here. She never had any problems with making friends so it's only a matter of time before I start getting pulled into brunches. At least if she's friends with Sharpy's girlfriend or Seabs' girlfriend I'll have someone to talk to.

As for the hockey side of things the preseason was over and the regular season was under way. We start the season out in Colorado before we head home for the banner raising. I'm sure it's going to be a party to celebrate the team last year that set a franchise record for regular season wins and who lifted the Stanley cup for the first time in 49 years. But for right now this is business as usual as we head out to the Pepsi Center for a game looking to start off on the right foot. I was the back up goalie tonight which didn't bother me, I had to earn my spot as a starter. I was just a rookie after all. Nothing was going to be handed to me and I didn't expect it to be. But when I have my chance I'm going to do my best to prove my worth in this organization.

"Hey Crow" someone yells out and I turn around. I see Seabrook strutting across the locker room and I stop getting ready as he sits next to me. "Is this your girlfriend" he asks as he shoves his phone in my face. I see a picture of Bailey and I at lunch the other day and I smile. Not sure who took this or why they did but it was actually kind of cute. I'll have to get it to send to her.

"That's Bailey dude" I say and he gasps.

He takes his phone back and looks at the picture again before turning to me. "The girl you showed us pictures of at training camp who moved to Chicago to hang out with you" he asks.

"Yeah... that's the same girl" I assure him.

"Bro... your best friend is hot as hell. How have you not tapped that" he asks.

"Sorry, 9 year old me didn't know what that meant and by the time I figured it out I was well into the friend zone to ever get out now" I explain.

"But you want out now" he accuses. I try not to wear the nervousness on my face but it was hard because every time I thought of her and I together it made me so nervous I wanted to throw up.

"She has a boyfriend" I defend.

"And that doesn't answer my question" he accuses.

I let out a long sigh as I look down. I wish I could lie and say that I don't love her in the way I do but I can't even do that anymore. I do love her more than I could ever tell her, I just don't think there's a good way for us to be together no matter how much I wished it was that way. "Listen, I'm not going to sit here and explain this very difficult situation I find myself in. It's been years I've felt like this and I can't put all of the time we've spent together into words. All I know is that I waited five long years to be able to live with my best friend by my side again and I'm not going to mess this up because I might have feelings for her.

Her and I... we've been through hell and back. Not a thing that has happened in my life that changed it she wasn't there for. She was there when I was drafted, she was at my first game, we went to prom together and I plan on her being there for everything else. If she wants to be with someone else that's fine, as long as she's in my life some sort of way then that's what is important" I say.

"How do you expect to have a good relationship with her when you so obviously have strong feelings for her? I mean it's written all over your face. Don't you think she should know" he asks.

I just smile as I shake my head. "Bailey isn't like any of the girls you know. She is clueless to a lot of things and she likes it that way. There's a reason why she's always smiling and I will not be the reason she's not. When you meet her you'll understand" I promise.

"Oh, we're gonna meet her" he asks.

"Hell yeah. She's my best friend and so are you guys. Plus she can hang with all the hockey guys, pretty sure she drinks more than Kaner over there" I say nodding my head his way.

"I heard that" he yells from across the room and I just laugh.

"Still" Brent insists, "I think you should tell her how you feel. Who knows, maybe she feels the same way" he shrugs.

My heart skips at the thought of her feeling something towards me more than friendly casual love. Then it nearly stops when I remember she most likely doesn't.

"She has a boyfriend" I remind him.

"Didn't stop you" he smirks causing me to laugh. "Plus, if she got a hard ass like you to be all flustered like this there's no way she doesn't feel something romantic towards you. And you guys look good together" he admits.

I smile as I look at the picture of us and it did seem a little more than friendly. Every time we touch I feel like my heart jumps out of my chest. Every time I think of her I smile. I know that no matter what I want to be with her in any type of way and it's driving me crazy. It didn't used to be like this, maybe it's because we were young and didn't know any better. Maybe I didn't want anything more than a friendship. But I'm 24 now and I'm not satisfied with going through life with the only form of love coming from hockey. I know that Bailey is number one on all my lists and I know that no one can replace her up there. And maybe she does deserve to know at least that.

We end up losing the game and we had a late plane ride back to Chicago. So we all wait for the plane in the terminals and sit around. We were a pretty close group so we usually play cards on the plane or just watch movies. But until we get on the plane it's pretty boring just waiting around.

I see my phone start to go off as it sits on top of my carry on and see it was Bailey. So I excuse myself from the guys who were being especially loud and answer the phone.

"Apple Core" she yells and I just shake my head. She is so quirky, I guess opposites do attract.

"What's up Bai-by" I ask.

"Nothing really. I was kinda bored and I couldn't sleep so I figured I call you and see what you're up to" she explains.

I lean against the wall and run my free hand through my hair. "Nothing much. Just waiting for our plane to come pick us up and bring us home" I explain.

"Oh! Then I can pick your brain" she claims.

"Have at it" I encourage.

"I want to do my first painting here in Chicago but I want it to be special. I want it to be something that anyone can enjoy no matter where they're from but I still want it to be Chicago like. What should I paint" she wonders.

"You're asking me artistic advice" I scoff.

"No. I'm asking for life advice that I can turn into art" she corrects.

I sit there for a second before I think about it. "What about something musical? Chicago is famous for its music inspiration and everyone enjoys music" I explain.

"Corey... that's brilliant. I love it" she claims.

"Glad I can help" I tease.

"I don't know what I would ever do without you" she sighs.

I stop for a second before a smile finds its way on my face. "I know how you feel."