Bridge over troubled waters

8| The Future

Corey

I was able to get Mark out to a Hawks game before he had to leave and to say he was excited was a understatement. The boy was beaming with excitement as he came around the corner from Baileys place to borrow some blackhawks stuff from me to wear tonight. We were pretty much the same size so I think he would be fine in my stuff. I let him go in my closet and go through some of my stuff as I chill out on my bed.

"So you have been with Bailey for a while, have you thought about proposing" I start. I didn't really want to know that answer but she was on my mind and that was the best conversation starter I had. At least we both get to take about our favorite thing.

He lets off a short laugh as he just continues to look through my things not really giving a thought to my question. "Not really" he replies coldly and I raise my eyebrow. Not a "I haven't thought about it" or a "I don't know maybe", a hard "not really".

"Really? It's been over five years you've been dating and it seems like you guys are really happy together. Are you planning on spending the rest of your life with her just dating and nothing more" I question.

"I don't know, what do I know about the future? I don't want to sound like a ass hole right now but I can't stand here and promise a future with her and I together. I mean she's nice to have around and I love her to death, I really do, but marriage is a huge deal and I don't think I'm ready for that, not with her at least. Haven't really thought about there being a us that far into the future" he claims.

I start to see red as I almost jump off the bed. So this man thinks it's okay to ring her along all this time and never had the intention to marry her? Now I know marriage doesn't mean what it should nowadays, but I know for a fact Bailey wants to get married. She's said so many times that she did and even talked about marrying Mark specifically at one point. And I don't think this guy sees a future with her which made my insides burn that he would do that to her.

"Don't you think that's kinda cruel to pull her along like this if you don't have a intention to marry her? I know Bailey better than anyone and she's not the one to casually date, especially not after five years. She wants to be married and have a family" I explain.

"She's never mentioned it to me" he says.

I just look at him weird because I felt like that's what someone in their position should talk about. She should have been telling him this stuff, not me. It's a serious relationship and I know Bailey doesn't feel the same way he does. She wants more and he apparently couldn't care less.

"That's weird" I admit.

"I mean she moved all the way to Chicago no matter how much I fought her on it. Not sure if I would have proposed if she would have stayed still. If she was so into building a future with me she would have stayed home and built one with me" he claims.

I just shake my head because that was not the right answer. "It was her dream to come here. She's always wanted to work out here and she finally got her chance to chase her dreams. Nothing stopped her because she feels like fate wanted her here. She used to look at books of the art inspiration and see the buildings and landscape and people here and she wanted to be able to capture this cities raw beauty herself. She wanted to immerse herself in the culture and see what paintings she could make when she has to rely on what she's learning and not what she already knows. I mean that music one she did... that's the best thing I've ever seen with my own two eyes. She said she feels like she needed to come here, I think this is something she needs as much as she wants" I defend.

"And I'm happy for her, but as for us this is hardly a good thing. It's like I could have said anything and she would have left me there in the end. After five years there wasn't anything I could do to get her to stay. She only talked about being closer to you when she mentioned coming here" he says. I try to hide my smile, but I don't try too hard.

He finally pulls a cool jacket out with the biggest smile on his face. That was one of my favorites but I never get to wear the cool stuff we get because we're always in a suit or a blackhawks shirt sweating our asses off. "Well I think this is good for her. Her pictures are great and her paintings belong in a museum. She's already learned so much about this city and this county, she's growing" I say.

"And she's growing without me. I was ready to get us a apartment together and see where it led. I wasn't looking at ring but who knows, if she stayed maybe I would have put some thought into it. I mean, wouldn't it suck if you were ready to settle down with the girl of your dreams and she doesn't ask you where you fit in with her dreams, instead she tells you that she's moving thousands of miles away for a year and she hopes you understand" he asks.

"Well yeah, I wouldn't be happy" I admit. "But Bailey has one of those hearts that isn't satisfied with being complacent. There's a whole world out there for her to see and she's going to see it one way or another. If you were serious about her you would be a part of her dreams anyway. You just gotta figure out if you're going to be there to see her see the world through her eyes" I insist.

"I'm no travelers husband" he insists.

"But it's her dream" I argue.

"And it's not mine" he claims.

He just sits there as he looks at me. I try not to wear on my face how pissed I was, but I was really pissed. For a lot of reasons really, but mostly because she deserves someone better than him. Someone who supports her even when the design being made isn't easy to follow. Someone who doesn't know much about the future but knows that it's empty without her there. He... he wasn't planning a future with her in it and that sucks because I know she wants this to work out. I know she would have loved to be married and starting a family by now, and he's taking that chance away from her by holding her back.

I let him take the jacket and he goes back to her apartment. I sit there and think about what he said and how much it pissed me off. She deserves the world, and Mark ain't it. He's one of my better friends and out of our friend group he was the best choice for her. But I still feel like she deserves better than him. Someone who will give her a future, not just bat his eyes at it. Someone who asked her what she thinks about marriage and family and everything else that comes with it instead of going day by day not knowing if you want to be together the day after tomorrow. How can he get mad at her for creating a future for herself when he wasn't giving her one? It's not her fault she wants more than what she has, she human. And I wish she knew that he had no plans with her in the future and he was just wasting her time.

We all head over to the UC and I bring them down to meet the boys. The blackhawks had a halloween party that I was dragging Bailey to so she will see them and all the other girls there. This was mostly because Mark wanted to meet them and I wanted to talk to Bailey for a while.

"Can I ask you a question" I wonder.

"Come on Cor, you know the answer to that" she promises.

"Do you see yourself getting married to Mark" I ask. Her face starts to turn red as she looks away.

"I mean, of course. I wouldn't be dating him just to date him. I date to marry, no point in putting all this effort into something I don't see going anywhere, especially after all this time" she claims.

I get this awful feeling in my chest as all the air leaves my lungs. I know I should tell her, I know I need to. But I don't want her to think I'm making this up because she knows I feel something towards her. And I don't want to be what comes between two of my best friends.

"Now can I ask you a question" she counters.

"Of course" I say softly.

"If he said something you know isn't right, you would tell me. Right" she asks.

I swallow hard as I try not to get lost in her eyes. But I always do. "I won't let anything hurt you" is all I say and she nods.

"Good. Because he means the world to me but so do you. There's no one I trust more than you" she insists.

Aaaaand I'm in deep shit.