Bridge over troubled waters

25| Changing

Bailey

For this first time since moving to Chicago I decide to take the day off. Corey was off in the city doing some Blackhawks promotional stuff and I was feeling a little under the weather so I stayed in. I was ready to get back into painting and I had a few requests since the art institute debuted my stuff. I was excited to get back into the art scene, but I was going to enjoy this day to myself before I work myself to the bone until September.

I decide to call Mark and see what he was up to. I missed him like crazy and I wonder if I can get him back into town for a little to do some speed dates or take him to the aquarium because he loves animals and the zoo isn't open this time of the year.

"Hey babe" he answers the phone.

"Hey baby, what are you up to" I wonder.

"Nothing much. Just took the dog for a walk and I'm about to get ready for work" he explains.

"Oh, okay. I can call you later" I insist.

"It's fine. I don't have work for a while" he assures me.

"Alright. I just wanted to see if there's a time you could come down so I can see you again" I say.

"I don't know, it's winter time in the city so I'm super busy" he explains.

He worked as a snow plow driver during the winter days to help out the little community we call home. He had a real job but he's a sweetheart and wanted to make sure the roads were plowed and people can get where they needed. "But you can come home for a little" he says.

"I don't know Mark... if I get too comfortable there I'm not sure I'll come back" I insist. I came out here to be out of my element and boy was I? If I went home I know I'll convince myself to stay somehow someway. Just because that's the easy way, not the best way.

"And why is that a bad thing" he asks and I sigh. I know he hates that I came here but I needed to be here. And for once I need to see this things through to the end instead of giving up my dreams for temporary relief.

"You know I can't. It's my job that I stay here and take pictures and make paintings for home. I have to bring back a part of this city and I can't do that if I'm home again" I defend.

"And it seems like that's your home now" he accuses.

I freeze for a second as I let him think about what he was saying. "Mark that's insane. Quebec is always home" I argue.

"It sure doesn't feel like. You have your stuff up in the Art Institute of Chicago. You love Chicago hot dogs and rhythm and blues and paying a absurd amount of money to provide for yourself. I feel like... like you're changing" he explains.

"I'm going to change Mark" I argue. "I'm not that girl you started dating four years ago and I won't be the same girl you know four years from now. It's human nature to change, but it's not a bad thing" I defend.

"I kinda feel like it is..." he trails off.

I stare off into space as I try to figure out what to say without making this worse. But I was hurt that he couldn't be happy for me here. He never wanted me to be happy here and I knew that. But if this was flipped and he left to go off and chase his dreams I know I would go to the end of the earth to support him even if I was scared that he would change. "Answer me this. Do you see us lasting forever" I ask.

The line falls silent as I wait for him to say something. Anything. "Bails" is all he says.

"No, Mark, I don't want some bull shit answer. It's yes or no... do you see us spending the rest of our lives together" I ask.