Khali POV
Leek fanned his hand in front of my face, getting me out of my thoughts.
"What?" I questioned as I looked over at him.
He lightly chuckled. "What has you so stressed out?"
My eyebrow slightly raised as I turned my attention back to the road. "Why you ask that?"
"Come on now, we've been knowing each other nineteen, almost twenty years. I know how you act and how you look when you're feeling certain things."
I put my hand on my chest and chuckled. "Aww, you pay attention to your baby brother?"
He sucked his teeth then shook his head again. "Nigga we just five months apart. Anyway I'm serious. Don't try and joke and kid your way out of it like usual. Just be real with me. If you're stressed out about the Laila thing, then it's cool man. You can't prevent something from happening if you didn't know it would happen. None of us expected that from her."
"True. I just wish I did though. I mean, Laila is like the little annoying sister that I never wanted because she would probably bug the shit out of me every chance she got, so I should have been there for her more."
"Umm. I think the logic in that was a little off, but I get what you sayin. It'll be alright man. Earlier I was thinking about all of these 'what ifs' and 'if onlys' but now I have the chance to actually be there for her like I should have been."
I nodded my head in agreement. What he said was right.
"You still don't seem at ease bro. Let me guess, you guilt trippin about Asia's mom."
I clicked on the turning signal then I turned into the parking lot of the disgusting Chinese restaurant that Leek seems to love so much. I swear I'll never like Chinese food. It's the smell of it. We got everyone else and myself some Zaxby's but he just had to be different and get something that's gonna lite the whole house up. I should make his ass sit outside and eat.
"How you figure that?" I asked as I backed up in a parking spot.
He didn't say anything so I parked then turned the car off before looking at him.
"That's what you do Khali. You always send yourself in a guilt trip when shit goes wrong. Khalid gets a seasonal cold, it's your fault. Katelynn cries too long, it's your fault. The war we had between Steelz and us... even though you not the only nigga in the crew, somehow it's all your fault. Asia's mom dies from an overdose... you was nowhere near her but somehow it's your fault. That woman fell victim to what a lot of people fall victim to. Addiction. Addiction is what killed her, not you or nothing you did or didn't do. See what you need to realize is you can't keep doing that to yourself. Just because things go wrong in your life doesn't mean you're the cause of it. Ya moms been so hard on you about everything to the point where you end up being just as hard on yourself. Stop it. Seriously dude."
He got out the car then walked into the restaurant, leaving me shocked. I rarely see him show that much genuine concern for me. And... he made a lot of sense. I subconsciously blame myself for shit, it's not like I want to be the one to blame. That really is something I should work on, but I don't really know how. I seem to have answers for a lot of shit, but no answers for how to do that.
I shook my head then laid my head against the headrest, just thinking about all the shit that's been going on. I looked around then pulled out the small little black box that I hid in the car. I opened the box and stared at the ring inside of it. One day while Leek and I were still in Detroit, I went to a jewelry store and picked this out.
I do feel like Asia is the woman I want to be with, but now is not the time to ask her to marry me. Look at everything that's happened. Leek and Tommy got into a big ass fight. Leek and Nova got into a big ass fight and broke up. Laila almost killed herself. Her mother died. I don't want to make it seem like I'd propose just to cheer her up about everything. I don't think she's ready for anything more than what we already have. What if all of that scares her? Or what if the way Leek and Nova's relationship went makes her question if I'd ever do the same to her? What if she rejects me?
