Seventeen

7 - Hell

You know, the story usually starts with something more lowkey, but fuck it.

It's finals week, and instead of cramming my ass off for a stupid research paper, I'm only focused on drugs and candy as I let a random episode of Lucifer play on my phone. Life feels so fucking empty while I curse out Chloe Decker's name for fucking with the devil's feelings like that. I mean, come on, if anyone could relate to being betrayed, the devil sure knows what it's like to be left out in all of a sudden. He's all broken but he pretends that he isn't, so he distracts himself with sin, because that's what everyone expects him to do.

Drugs, partying, sex... It all goes.

If I had thousands of years to do the same, I swear, I would if I could. I'd have all the fun with my meaningless, immortal life. But of course I'm not immortal, of course I can die, maybe today, or tomorrow, who knows? All I know is doing things I love to do only to regret them later. I'm broken, but I pretend that I'm not.

Glitter, poison, smoking... It all goes to take me to hell. While hell on earth used to be a fucking myth, I was so wrong when I decided to step into this fucking world to experience how wonderful life is. All I know now is that, even if I get the girl, or win my old life back, at the end of the day, I'll always lose.

Maybe this is my hell, where I do all the fun to hurt myself, and I desperately want to fucking stop, but I can't. And that's how this story will play out, and I'm so fucking sorry if this isn't what you wanted, because this isn't what I wanted either.

So here's to me and the devil, we don't really know what the fuck is going on, but at least he's on my side.

- "Hell", October 17th