Hold On (Book 1 of It's Not Over)

March: Part 2

Warnings: Mention of child abuse and neglect, probably lots of cursing, mention of suicide and death, a very upset Virgil, a very upset Logan, a Patton that wants to fight

—

29

"Virgil?"

"Just don't go downstairs, Logan. Please," I sat up and looked over at the other boy with pleading eyes.

He was about to say something else when we heard a loud bang and yelling. We both jumped up and stared at his door. I could hear my dad yelling, a voice I assumed was Logan's dad's, and another voice. One I never heard that loud and angry before.

...Patton!

I know I told Logan to stay upstairs. I know I had planned on staying up there with him, but hearing my brother upset and angry sent my into protective brother mode and I ran out of the room and down the stairs. I could hear Logan's footsteps behind me and I mentally cursed him. We both froze at the bottom of the stairs.

Before us was Mr Berry, my dad, and Patton. My dad was holding Pat, trying to keep him from landing a single blow on the man that had come into our house.

"Patton!"

My brother stopped fighting my father and looked towards Logan and I. The taller teen walked around me and adjusted his glasses, all emotion locked away like usual.

"That is quite enough. Please compose yourself before you end up doing harm to yourself or your father," he gave my brother a gentle, reassuring smile before fixing his father with a cold stare. "Why are you here, Jack?"

"If that any way to talk to your father?"

Bitch, you ain't no father. You fucking abandoned your kid.

"I don't have a father. I was orphaned 16 years ago," he said coldly.

"I am still your father, Logan."

"You blames me for mom's death. You may have been my father for the first five years of my life, but you gave up that role as soon as you could."

"He what?!" Patton flew at Jack again and this time it took both me and my dad to hold the little spitfire back.

"I was upset, Logan. I'm sorry."

"No," I let go of Patton and started talking without even thinking. "Being upset is mourning your loss when it happens. Maybe ever for a few months or years afterwards. It's being sad on anniversaries and when things remind you of the person you lost. It's not blaming your fucking kid."

"Virgil," I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I couldn't stop putting this piece of shit in check.

"I was there when my mum killed herself. I witnessed her death. I couldn't save her. I was the only one in the house when it happened and I couldn't save her," tears were running down my cheeks. "My dad could've blamed me for not saving her. He would've had every right to! But he didn't! He didn't blame me! Neither did my brother! The only one who blamed me was me! Because family doesn't blame family for something like that! Logan was a fucking newborn infant! He could have done nothing to save your wife. He did nothing to your wife! He is innocent!"

Patton threw himself at me and hugged me tightly. I could feel his tears on my shoulder as he hugged me.

"It wasn't your fault, Virge," his muffled voice reassured me.

"Logan did not ask for any of this. You threw the blame on him. Blame that didn't need to be placed on anyone. Especially not on an innocent child who didn't even know what happened. You neglected your son. You neglected the family you had for the family you lost. Do you really think your wife would have wanted that? Would have wanted you hurting your son so much that he threw himself into his school work not because he enjoyed doing it but because he wanted to stay away from you? You created a depressed and anxious teen when you didn't need to. You took away his chance for a normal childhood!"

"Virgil."

I looked over at Logan, tears in both of our eyes. I watched as my friend walked forward and stood in front of his dad.

"What you did was wrong, Jack. I was a child. I needed my dad and he wasn't there. If I asked for help I got yelled at. If I brought home a bad grade I got yelled at."

"You never brought home a bad grade, Logan."

"Of course not! I was too afraid to! You helped with nothing. I had to raise myself because, as Virgil stated, you were stuck in the past. I was right in front of you and you couldn't be bothered to see me. All you saw was your dead wife. Not your son who was lost and needed help."

Jack stood silently, his expression was unreadable. If he wanted to say something it didn't matter. Logan turned and walked back up to his room, grabbing me and Patton and taking us along with him.

A few minutes later we heard the front door shut and then there was silence again. When it was close to dinner time my dad came upstairs to ask us all what we wanted to eat and we told him. Logan tried to apologize, but my dad shot down the apology, telling him he had no reason to apologize.

Patton now knew the real reason Logan was with us and was mad at the both of us for not telling him, but also understanding of the reason we didn't.

After such an emotionally draining afternoon the four of us sat in front of the TV and watched Marvel movies while eating pizza for dinner. Eventually we all fell asleep, Patton on the couch, Dad in his chair, and Logan and I curled up on the floor.

***

31

"Virgil! I need a hug!" Roman frappes himself over my shoulders and rested his head on top of mine.

"Why?" I asked, ignoring the other boy while I played a video game with his brother. We had the day off from school as the teachers had a meeting.

"Because I want one. Do I have to have a reason to need a hug from my boyfriend?"

"Yes," De replied from their seat on the other side of the room, going over homework with Logan.

Roman stood up and made a sound of offense. I didn't need to look up to know that he was glaring at the other boy. Remus and I laughed before the other cursed as I beat him in our game.

"You cheated!"

"Suck it up, buttercup! I won fare and square!"

Roman plopped down on the couch beside me and reached over to Remus and took his controller. "If I win you're giving me a hug."

I chuckled and nodded. "Alright. And if I win you're ordering pizza."

"You're on."

Less than two minutes later I beat Roman to a pulp. He stared slack jawed at the screen, controller hanging loosely in his hand. "I'm never gonna get a hug," he whined.

I chuckled and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. "I want extra cheese, red and green peppers, chicken, sausage, onions, mushrooms, and buffalo sauce."

Pulling out his phone Roman ordered three large pizzas, one how I specified, one with everything on it, and one pepperoni.

After we were done eating, and I beat Remus at another game, we decided to go and practice for our gig.