Hold On (Book 1 of It's Not Over)

Countdown

Six days until the last day of school.

Until I walked across the stage and received my first diploma with my name on it. The one from primary school said Virginia Andrea Novas. This one would say Virgil Andrew Novas. Excited didn't begin to cover how I felt about having my name on my diploma. It was in my license. It was in my birth certificate. My social security card. My student ID. My transcripts. And now it was going to be on my diploma.

Since the start of my transition, every new document that had the name I had chosen for myself on it my dad made a copy and put it in a scrap book. On the cover of the book he wrote "Virgil's Journey." And, he used it to document my transition starting when I came out at age ten. Eight years of memories. When I'd started my hormones on my sixteenth birthday Patton and I got the day off from school. My dad had scheduled my court hearing for that day to get my name legally changed. When the judge gave the okay I think my dad was more excited than Me or even Patton. We went to my mum's grave and showed her and talked excitedly for hours letting her know.

I'd have to take a flight back to Arizona before July so I could show her my diploma.

***

Five days until graduation.

I'm getting nervous. We've gotten our grades back from our final exams. I got all A's. Logan is valedictorian. We're all so proud of him. Roman insisted on throwing a mini party when we found out last month.

Patton didn't flunk any of his classes. He's worried that he won't do well enough in college though. I'm not sure how many different ways we can tell him that we have a lot of faith in him and know he'll do excellent.

***

Four days until graduation.

I just realized that I'll only have until the 30th if the month to hang out with Patton. After that we won't see each other until November. This will be the first time that I'll be away from him for more than like a weekend.

It's scary. We went to sleep away camp when we were little once. Two separate camps. We got sent home not even a full week in because I had a really bad anxiety attack and Patton wouldn't stop crying.

We were like nine at the time.

***

Three days until graduation.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK!

***

Two days until graduation and the last day of school.

Logan is in the hospital on a 23 hour hold. He had an anxiety attack that was so bad he couldn't breathe. They want to make sure that he'll be okay. We know he'll be okay. But, doctor's orders.

Patton insisted on staying with him and threatened to bite anyone that tried to make him leave. The doctor said that since it wasn't a psych hold he'd allow it. But also told Patton that if he threatens hospital staff again the police were being called.

***

Shit. I'm graduating tomorrow.

I can't believe how much has happened in this entire school year. I can't believe all the things that are to come for me and my friends.

I can't believe I'm sitting on the couch trying to watch a movie with my friends and my brother is proposing to his girlfriend!

She said yes. They've only been dating a few months. If it were anyone other than Patton I'd be worried. But Patton isn't the type to fall in love easily. He keeps his heart guarded. I've seen him date before. I've seen his feelings never blossom beyond platonic love. I see the way he looks at the cheerleader he is hugging tightly.

Dammit, Pat she needs to breathe!

He loves her. Not the way he loves the rest of us. No. He loves her the way dad loves our mum. The look they give each other is the same look I used to see my parents give each other.

It'll be a long engagement. Patton wants Sunniva to be able to focus on college and not a wedding or a family until they're both ready. Sunniva wants the same for Patton.

Remus asked if this meant Patton was becoming monogamous. He and Sunniva bot said no. She doesn't want to change him. I love that. She loves Pat for Pat.

Roman pulled me close and kissed the side of my head.

***

June 6th. It's graduation day. It's the last day of school.

I am sitting in the auditorium with the rest of my graduating class. Logan is on stage giving his speech. He's getting emotional. But he's keeping his voice level. He has flash cards, but he hasn't looked down at them once. He's memorized these words. These words that he wrote from the heart.

When he's done we're called up to get our diplomas and final awards for the year. Logan graduated with the highest of honors. He was also awarded for all of the extracurricular activities he was apart of either directly or indirectly. The teachers and students really appreciated his assistance and support.

Roman and Remus both received thanks from the drama club and the music department. Roman was also given an award for his work with student council. Logan gave De and I both awards for being outstanding members of the debate team. I graduated with honors, knocking Roman out of that spot, but he wasn't mad.

Patton hugged us all tightly when we were all done receiving our awards and diplomas. We all joked about not being able to breathe.

As we exited the school part of Logan's speech echoed in my ears:

"Today is our last day as children. From this moment on we are young adults. We may have plans for tomorrow. For each day after. We may not. The variables are infinite. Far too many to count. For some that will be an exciting adventure. For others it will bring unknown fear. But, for all of us; as long as we remember the bonds we have forged in these halls we can still hold on. We can still do better. We can still do more. As long as we hold on."