𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙤.
My head felt heavy like a rock on the pillow, holding my whole body back as I tried to lift myself up. I kept blinking constantly, trying to figure out how I ended up here. The last thing I remember was sitting in the garden with Renee, looking through her sketches, everything after that was mere black, wiped away entirely from my head. My limbs were numb, and for a part of the moment I couldn't move any part of my body. But only a second later, life started flooding through me little by little.
I sat straight on the bed, still lost in trying to remember what happened before everything was swallowed in black. Renee wasn't there, I was all alone, drowning in the silence that for a moment felt like fantasy. There was nothing to be heard, almost nothing to feel but confusion. Seemed like every human being was wiped off the face of earth, and in that certain moment I could believe that, I couldn't differentiate reality from the dream anymore.
I stood up, and made my way out of the room with disturbed balance, running my hand on almost everything in my way for support. Outside, in the living room, sat Jerrica, totally unbothered with a glass of wine in one hand, and her phone in the other. She titled her eyes towards me, then returned her gaze to whatever captured her attention on the phone.
When I finally reached the kitchen after a journey of what seemed like years, I was welcomed by Renee's figure, leaning against the counter with a cigarette in the grip of her fingers. In utter tranquility, she seemed to be studying the wall before I came, giving it so much attention that I believed it helped her distract herself from chaos up in her head, as if she was running away. Once she saw me, she put out her cigarette in the sink, and in a single step, she stood right in front of me.
Her eyes felt as if they were digging right into my soul through my eyes, and they looked watery, devoured by the concern that adorned her eyes clearly. Her eyes twinkled, with waves of trapped tears crashing into her eyes, her eyes looked like the ocean at night, maybe twice as charming. When she had the palms of her hands wrapped around my cheeks, felt like I was finally in the right place, felt like I was floating lightly, and heedlessly.
"Are you alright? Oh God I was worried sick." She sounded fragile, like thin glass, her words felt breathless, yet a part of her seemed to be finally at ease.
"Yeah, I just had-" I replied, felt like I hadn't said a word in ages. My sentence couldn't reach an end, in a quick pace I was silenced by her pair of lips that found shelter on mine. My bottom lip was taken into her eager ones as her lips moved that same familiar motion against mine, creating that very same pattern.
This time, a robust urge, like a voice echoing in my head, had me moving my lips in sync with hers, pretty uncontrollably, I found myself giving into the effect of the kiss sooner than I thought I would. I don't know, but when I felt her hand descending all the way down to my waist, pulling me even closer that our bodies had gentle collision, I felt something taking over my guts, something like fireworks providing a tingly feeling all over my system. Then there were her fingers, running over my face ever so swiftly, brushing away the strands of hair that landed on my face. It felt like zillions and zillions of butterflies started spreading their wings wide open in my stomach, fluttering happily here and there.
Everything else seemed to disappear, leaving us all alone. The butterflies grew violent, giving me a rush of heart I couldn't escape. The fire was constantly being fed inside of me, increasing every time I give in a little more. I could swear I hadn't felt such a surge of heart in a very long time, I could swear that no one was ever capable of making me feel that way except her, of all the times I'd been kissed before, none of them felt as fulfilling as this one.
Then I had an awakening. When I wrapped my arms around her waist, something in me started telling me to stop. Regardless of how whole I felt during that one kiss, I started feeling wrong, guilty if you will. Everything went upside down, the pleasure in it turned to be a desire to stop. The fire I had within had turned against me, burning through me like acid. Slowly, I let go of her lips, feeling as her warm, smoke filled breaths left her lungs with speed. I stood there for a second, with my eyes fixed up on her now tired ones, and her arms wrapped around my waist. Just like that, time seemed to freeze.
"I - I'm sorry." She pushed away quickly, finally coming back to her senses. For a moment she looked at everything but my figure in front of her before she disappeared out of the kitchen and rushed all the way to the bedroom, shutting everything outside behind her.
