The tip of her toes held her up, enough for me to feel her arms being wrapped around me, and her chin buried in my shoulder. Without a moment of thinking, I hugged back. It was such a relief, feeling so safe in arms that wanted nothing for me but to be safe, it was as if I hadn't felt so together like that in ages. Against, my shoulder, I could feel a smile crawling. She pushed away at last, still holding me by the shoulder with her eyes looking at nothing but my own eyes.
"Man, it's been a hot minute since I'd seen you." The southern accent pierced through her tone, something that had always made me happy listening to.
"Yeah, shit's been real messy." I replied with a nod. Feeling a bit guilty, as it was my fault we hadn't seen each other in a long time, I looked away.
"So, what's up with this apartment? I mean it's pretty good why would you wanna give it up?" I tucked my hands in my back pockets, with a bit of struggle burying them in in the tight piece of clothing. Randomly, my eyes wandered around the place, scanning it with interest while roaming around one spot.
"Yeah, I suppose it's not that bad. But ever since those junkies moved in to the apartment next door, I can't stand the place. I've already found somewhere else." She set her eyes free to rove around the place, as if to scan it one last time, to remember everything that happened between those walls.
"Dude I'd rather live with rats and junkies than with Jerrica, though they're all almost the same." I let out a sarcastic chuckle, the thought of Jerrica itself made me sick to my stomach.
I pulled out a cigarette, and as soon as it rested between my lips, I reached out for the lighter. For a moment all I could see was the other end of the cigarette being burnt slowly to ashes. The sweet feeling kicked in once the breath I welcomed in settled in my lungs, and smoke was all that was left.
"You really need to chill with the smoking, it's way too much." Her voice tone had hints of seriousness and concern as she spoke.
"Them cigarettes are the only thing keeping me sane." My words were followed by a cloud of smoke hovering over my face for a part of a second before it faded away.
"This place screams coziness!" Theo yelled with nothing but evident excitement as she made her way back for what seemed like the bedroom. Her face couldn't contain her grin for how big it was.
"Holy shit I totally forgot about this. Theo, this is lily, my all time best friend. Actually my only friend if I'm being honest." I introduced, stepping aside. Once more, the cigarette found shelter between my lips, letting me enjoy the poison as it ran through me with smoke filling the atmosphere.
Theo extended her hand for a handshake, and without hesitation, Lily's hand met hers. "My name's Theodora, but I go by Theo for short." Theo kept her smile glued on her face as the two shook hands. In return, another smile had taken over Lily's face.
"Nice to meet you Theo."
"So, are we done here?" Theo's words came out accompanied by a long sigh, her smile loosened until her face was back to its natural state.
"Yeah, I guess. You can move here whenever you want until everything is done. I can tell Jerrica is driving you nuts." Before I could say a word to answer Theo's question, Lily jumped to answer instead. She gave her sentence an end with a small pat on my shoulder with her eyes stuck on me.
"Well, that's great." Theo made herself heard, a bit lost in who to look at. "I'll just go back to the car. Are you coming?"
"Yeah, just give me a minute." I gave her an answer, and in return I got a little nod and a smile as she made her way out.
I could see Lily's eyes going along with Theo's figure, following her until she completely disappeared out of sight. And once she was gone, Lily's eyes fell back on me, studying me with a thousand questions roaming around in her honey eyes.
"Is she a new girlfriend?" She hurried to question, her question came out filled with absolute thrill.
"No, goddamn it!" I jumped in response. Couldn't help but drag the cigarette all the way back to my lips, and take in a killer of a breath from in, trying to numb the wounds my words would reopen. "But if you want the truth, I've been thinking a lot about her lately."
"Someone is catching feelings!" She teasingly elbowed me with a wink like her habit insisted.
"God forbid." I gave her an eye roll in response, though I couldn't deny how related a part of me felt to what she said, I hated how accurate it sounded.
"Dude don't fight it. If you're falling for her, just let it flow in you. Suppressing it won't do you any good." I chuckled at how much like herself she sounded, she used that very same tone she'd used for years to convince me, and just like every time, it didn't really work.
"What if I'm not falling for her?" I teased, despite knowing that she was completely serious.
"Then you're lying to yourself and to me. You're showing obvious falling in love symptoms." One more time, her eyes met mine, the pair of eyes that shamelessly showed seriousness. I looked away, breaking her desired eye contact for I preferred to look at the wall with the cigarette dangling from my lips than to have her looking through my eyes and stumbling across things what my eyes were willing to hide.
"Think about it, but don't over think it. Now go, God knows what she'd doing on her own right now." She rested her hand on my back, rubbing idle circle on it. And with a warm little smile, she put an end to the conversation.
"Yeah, right." I pulled her into my arms for a hug goodbye, and not a split second later she was hugging back. "Alright, see you." With that, I walked away. My eyes found nowhere to look but at my feet as if I counting the steps I took. A part of me felt relieved that I would finally be left alone, I wound finally have a moment when I don't feel eyes burning through me. Foolishly I was excited to be able to think as much as I want to without feeling exposed, as if every single soul around me could read my mind.
