Resilient

Chapter Twenty

Joey's Point of View

Everyone finally gets to Colt and Wendy's house. We all sit in the living room, as Wendy rocks Ellie to sleep. "So, what's going on?" Cody asks us.

"Yeah man, why are you so freaked?" Conner, Cody's twin asks.

"My criminal father is back in town," I tell them.

"And he's probably going to go back into business with my father, which isn't good," Stone says.

"So they're drug dealers?" Carmen asks.

"They use to be the drug dealers," Andy answers, putting emphasis on the.

"Yeah they ran the city. I can't imagine what evil they have planned now," Tommy says.

"My dad's had over a decade to come up with something," I reply.

"What are we going to do?" Wendy asks.

"I think we should go to the police," Georgie says.

"I agree," Colt says.

"They won't believe us without any evidence," I say.

"We should still give it a try," AJ says.

"I agree with that," Georgie says. "Even if they can't do anything now, at least they'll be aware.

They all start talking about going to the police, and I can feel my blood boil. It's like they aren't hearing a word I'm saying. My father and Stone's father use to control this city. It wouldn't be hard for them to do that again. And I can't shake the feeling that what they have planned, is way worse than what they did in the past.

"Why are you all so eager to go to the police?" I snap. I'm losing my temper, and I can't stop. "Especially you Georgie. I mean, look where going to the police and trusting the justice system got you last time you put your faith in them." I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips.

A look of hurt flashes across Georgie's face, as she stands up. Everyone is silent and looking at me. Stunned probably. Georgie looks at me. I can tell by the look in her eyes she's furious. "How dare you," she whispers.

I can't say anything back. I can't even believe I said that to her. I finally get another chance, and I just ruined it. I felt myself about to ruin, and still couldn't stop myself. How pathetic am I?

"So you're not going to say anything? You're just gonna fucking sit there and stare at me," she spits. "Fuck you Joesph." She storms out of the house, slamming the door behind her. Ellie wakes up and begins to wail. Colt gives me a death glare as he takes Ellie from Wendy, and takes her back to her nursery. Wendy looks at me with narrowed eyes.

"What is wrong with you?" She snaps. No one else says anything, as Stone stands up.

"Let me guess, you're going to go after her," I snap. I don't know why I can't stop myself. I'm being such a douchebag because I'm mad at my father, but it's like I have word vomit. The snarky, angry remarks are leaving my lips before I can stop them.

Stone looks at me with an expression that's a mixture of anger and exhaustion. "Don't be a dick." Is all he says, as he leaves to go after Georgie. To once again, help her with the mess I've created.

"There's really no off switch for you huh?" Cody asks me.

"What do you mean?" I ask him. I'm trying my best to control my temper.

"You just hurt her, you can't help it," he tells me.

"It use to not be that way," I say. I don't know what else to say. I'm not the same person I use to be, I guess.

I use to be the person that put her first. The person who was there to help her, and now I'm the person who hurts her. I don't get it. I don't get how when we're together I ruin it every time, and then when we're not I'm doing everything to get her back. When I should just stop fucking up in the first place. I can't even blame the liquor this time.

"What's wrong with you man?" Andy asks as he gets up and leaves. A rhetorical question that I have no answer for, hangs in the air. What is wrong with me?

I get up, and walk out of the house. I run down the sidewalk, until I find Georgie and Stone. She's a sobbing mess in his arms. "Georgia," I say.

She breaks away from his embrace and stares at me. She's breathing heavily, and the look she's giving me is unnerving. She looks like a lion stalking a gazelle. "How fucking dare you!" She screams.

"How dare you throw that in my god damn face! How dare you treat me like that, again! I gave you a second chance, and this is what I get? I was stupid to think we could get back together and things would go back to how they were! I'm fucking sick of this shit! I'm sick of crying because of you! I'm sick of it, and I can't fucking do it anymore!" She screams on my face. "You're not my Joey anymore. I don't even know who are."

She's a full, sobbing mess by the end of her speech, and I'm the reason. "I'm sorry," I say.

"You're always fucking sorry Joey!" She screams. "You were so good to me. Why are you doing this to me?" She's sobbing. Heartbreaking sobs. Her body lurches with each one.

"We shouldn't be together," I say quietly. "I can't keep hurting you. And for some unknown reason, I can't seem to not hurt you if we're together. I love you with all my heart, and yet I can't stop myself. I don't know why, and I'm so frustrated with myself because you're who I want, and I keep sabotaging it," I tell her. I'm crying by the end of it.

"You're right. We shouldn't, we were stupid to think this could work. The damage has been done," she says, and I can tell she means every word of it. And that breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because she's right. I'm not the same Joey I use to be. I'm not her Joey anymore. And honestly, I don't even know who I am anymore. I thought getting Georgie back would change things, but here we are.

I take a deep breath. I feel like the sky is falling on me. Crushing me into oblivion. The girl that I love more than anything in the world has been hurt by me one too many times. She's right the damage is done. The realization that this it, starts to suffocate me. I love her, I need her, I want to be with her, but I fucked up yet again.

"Why did you even bother to chase me again, if all you were going to do is hurt me?" She asks.

I have no clue. I don't know why I keep fucking up. I don't know why I can't keep my promise to her. It's like I'm predisposed to being a giant fuck up, and I can't stop it no matter what I do, or how hard I try.

"I'm sorry." Is all I can say, as I turn and walk away from her, yet again. And this time, I know it's for the last time.