You're ok - Todobaku

1

TW

Todoroki's POV

I  awake to see papers scattered all over my dorm room. Not again I thought as I began to pick everything up just to throw it onto my desk, not caring anymore. I often have mental breakdowns at basically nothing before passing out just to wake up hours later barley remembering anything. I don't even know why I never remember what happens. Maybe there are just too many emotions and they blind me from reality. I don't have them every night, maybe once or twice a month but they're annoying as fuck.

It might be because of my childhood and stress from school but it almost always starts not long after I come back from class. I come in, manage to do some homework before just having mental breakdowns and messing up my room before just passing out, probably from exhaustion. I never get much sleep to begin with. I have nightmares almost every night so I've basically been resorting to not sleeping at all or just getting by with a few hours.

I'm constantly depressed and I'm never taking care of myself. I don't cut but I do other destructive behaviors. Like I said earlier, I never sleep and I will also starve myself for days at a time and I cry way too much, maybe even more than Midoriya. The voices in my head get louder each day and I'm almost never my real self. I hide behind a mask and I isolate myself from others to let the sadness consume me. Like even right now I haven't eaten since Thursday and it's Saturday morning, 9:41 am to be precise and it seems like I slept about 14 hours which is the longest I've slept in weeks, even after some recent breakdowns.

I should probably go down to the common room, make my presence known and maybe get some food. I finally get up and make my way to my bathroom. I think of myself from maybe 5 or so months ago and I now see how bad I've gotten. Compared to some months ago, I look like shit. I was at least somewhat healthy and took care of myself. But then the voices came. Now as I look into the mirror, staring back at me I see a broken soul, a skinny body with bags under my eyes and disheveled hair that hasn't been cut in months and was slowly growing longer, beginning to cover my face.

Somehow no one has pointed out how bad I look. I sigh and splash some water on my face, realizing that I should change out of my uniform that I passed out in. I dry my face and grab the first items of clothing that I see. I end up with a gray teeshirt and black sweatpants. They're extremely big on me and neither of them has been washed in weeks and though I only wore them 3 or 4 times in that amount of time, they smell like shit but I don't care.

I drag myself out of my room, staring at the ground, hoping that no one will bump into me. Well not everything perfect and about halfway on my way to the common room, I run into someone. "Ay watch it." the person says as we bump. I look up to see an angered Bakugo whose face softens a bit as he sees the state that I'm in.  "What the hell?" he mumbles and stares at me. I attempt to rush past him, not wanting anyone to see me like this but he grabs me by the wrist and pulls me back.

"What the fuck happened to you?" he asked, eying me up and down. I stay silent. "Hey I asked you a question Icyhot," he said a bit louder than before "What happened?" I hate this. I don't like being confronted. I just wanna disappear. I look down and try a weak attempt at getting out of his grasp. He holds on tight before aksing again. I decided to respond as I want to get out of this situation as fast as possible.

"Nothing happened, I'm fine. Let me go." "Bullshit," he says, scoffing "I know you're not fine." This was such a weird side of Bakugo that I barely believed it was still him. "Just let me go." I say "Please." "You were heading to the common room, right?" he asks, avoiding the question. I slowly nod and then I feel myself getting slightly dragged over there. I begin to panic "Um actually I think I'm good can I go back to my room now?" I plead.

He grunts and loosens his grip just slightly to see if I'd actually go back. I don't. I don't know why but I just can't. I let myself be dragged by him before he lets go right near the common room. He looks at me, half expecting me to go back, but I don't so he just goes into the common room with me trailing slightly behind him, getting some odd looks from our classmates. We end up going to the kitchen with Bakugo reaching into a cabinet to get something.

I look up at him as he grabs a small pack of ramen. "I'm making this and you're going to eat it because you're skinny as shit." he says as he begins to prepare it. I don't respond and sit down, laying my head down. I'm so tired even after all that sleep. Why? Maybe Bakugo confronting me just drained a lot of my energy because I'm basically asleep by the time he finishes the ramen and places it in front of me. I slowly put my head up and look at the food. I want it but do I really need it?

I look at him as he stares at me. He wants me to eat but I don't know if I can. I push it away and put my head back down "I'm not hungry." I mumble. He glares at me slightly "Either you eat it yourself or I feed it to you like you're a fuckin toddler." I shift slightly from my position but don't actually get up to eat it. "So you're doin' it the hard way, huh." he says. I still don't do anything but soon I feel a hand pick my head up so he can give it to me.

He feeds me the first bite before I realize that we're in the common room with my other classmates not too far away. I begin to get nervous as I try to look to see if any of my classmates are looking. There are only maybe 4 or so others there but I see two glancing over, Midoriya and Uraraka. 

I'm about to panic but get caught off guard by another forkful of ramen being shoved in my mouth. I choke slightly and managed to regain my breath and swallow the ramen. I see a slightly spooked Bakugo looking at me carefully. I take a breath and just give up on our classmates that were looking over. I allow him to feed me the rest before he cleans up and we start to make our way to our dorms.

On our way, I ask him "Why did you do that?" He looks to the side "You didn't look good. It worried me." he mumbled the last part but I heard it. I just said a simple 'ok' before we parted ways. I needed to see if I had any homework I didn't finish the night before. I found some that needed finishing and got started. I didn't get any work done though because I ended up thinking about what just happened.

His attitude, the way that he made me food and fed it to me because I was being stubborn. I thought about it way too much to the point that a little over an hour had passed since I had gotten back and I never actually did the work. It was 11:39 am and I felt that I needed to ask Bakugo why he did that again. I want to know why he acted so differently after seeing me like that. I got up and made my way to his dorm.

I got there, took a breath, and softly knocked. I'm surprised he heard me but I know he did because heard shuffling and the door opened. "What do you-" he cut himself off seeing that it was me. He's acting so nice to me now and that's so weird. "Why are you being so nice to me?" I asked as we just looked at each other. He sighs. "You looked sad. I don't want you to be sad." he said while looking down and blushing.

Someone actually cares about me?  I think as I feel tears run down my face from the rush of emotions. He sees me start to cry and composes himself, not sure what to do. I feel strong arms wrap around me as I sob. He picks me up and brings me into his room so that it was only us. We end up sitting on the bed together, me on his lap and crying into his shoulder. It's so weird for him to be like this but I feel so safe in his arms.

He begins to rub my back and pet my hair "Shhhh... You're ok," he reassures me. I continue to sob into his shoulder, not being able to do much else because my brain is going 100 miles an hour. He slowly pulls back after a while but continues to pet my hair some. He wipes the tears that continued to flow from my face and kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him to see him blushing before pulling me back in for another hug to hide his face.

I didn't know he liked me. I didn't know I liked him either until this moment, I love this. I love him! I begin to calm down after my realization and I want so badly to tell him my feelings but I'm so tired, today was draining. He wipes my tears again and I can feel myself drifting off in his arms.

1727 words

Hey, I wanted to do a todobaku book because there aren't many out there (compared to kiribaku and tododeku) and it's honestly a really good ship. I kinda wanted to do some angst so yeah. Both Todo and Baku are really out of character but I like soft/protective Baku. I think I'll update this maybe once a week (no promises though) and I think that's all to say at the moment so tell me what you thought so far. Bye!